Did You Know Washington DC Has a Professional Soccer Team?

I suspect United's regretful, naive, and blinkered owner Will Chang sees himself in a box: things won't get any better if he fires Kevin Payne and might get worse if he does. He's wrong, and the following implies directly that Kevin Payne, after a sixth consecutive season worse than the previous, has been rewarded with another year of unaccountability:

While United President Kevin Payne has stated that Olsen is likely to lead United someday, he has also suggested that Olsen lacks the experience to guide the club through these turbulent times. To Olsen's credit, the players have responded to his impassioned pleas to play for the badge and salvage something from this miserable year; unfortunately, their energy and commitment have failed to compensate for voids at several positions and terrible mistakes.

Heh, voids at several positions. LIKE EIGHT OF THEM!

Look, I'm not qualified to say whether Benny Olsen is ready to be a head coach, but you know who else isn't qualified to say?

It's a good thing the economy is as if not more fucked in every city United could move to than DC's. And that, fellow motherfuckers, is root and rube of our moral dice game....