Behind His Devotion, though, His Dopey Looks, Might Be a Beast Who Wants Your House, Your Wife: Who in Fact Loathes You, His Lord

Planet and Earthgirl flew to Minnesota this past Friday for an overnight visit to Carleton, so I was in charge of Rudy, our rescue dog, from six Friday morning until six Sunday night. When I got home Friday night he had broke into the trash and what he didn't eat he'd strewn throughout the house. What he did eat gave him the shits, turd after turd sparkling with chewed bits of aluminum foil, including two dumps in the living room waiting for me when I got home from United's game Saturday night. I screamed, he cowered, skulked, hid under the dining room table. I turned on the TV and saw a PSA: a guy gets out of his pickup with his dog, throws a tennis ball into the woods, and when the dog chases it the guy gets in his pickup and drives off. The dog comes back to the road, the ball in its mouth, watches the tail-lights fading.

I may or not write about the topic of the day, highlighted in the first four bullets below, though short-answer is that the scheduled misery hasn't affected me yet beyond a niggling itch of complicity. A shorter answer is that I just did.

• Why is there no political outlet for anger from the Left?
• On the above.
• Why is there no populist alternative on the Left?
• Where is Huey Long when you need him?
• UPDATE! Language and responsibility.
• The future.
• What we'll be condemned for generations from now.
• UPDATE! Your rulers.
• State of the union.
• Communicative capitalism.
• Žižek's misdiagnoses?
• Daily obamapostasy.
• On the above.
• On the above: Cole's obamapostasy begins.
• No, that was yesterday's. HERE'S today's.
• On the above.
• UPDATE! On the above.
• Moron. And I call bullshit on the stadium anecdote.
• Political blowjob.
• Interesting: on the same day, an op-ed in NYT and the Walrus in YFWP on not taunting China.
• A party for Marty.
• The post-White House years have not been kind to Laura Bush.
• Hipster professor.
• Ehrlich is an asshole. Might get him elected.
• If Steny Fucking Hoyer was my rep I'd what, blog?
• Freedom review: are Brits still Americans?
• Sounds like Dystopia.
• Roky Erickson live.
• UPDATE! Holyfuck, Arcade Fire sucks. They suck so much they're not worth hating (like Jack Fucking White is worth hating), but why the fuck are they always on my radio?
• What if Lennon had lived?
• Playlist.

SO YOU PUT THE DOG TO SLEEP

Thomas Lux

You love your dog and carve his steaks
(marbled, tender, aged) in the shape of hearts.
You let him on your lap at will

and call him by a lover's name: Liebchen,
pooch-o-mine, lamby, honey-tart,
and your fill your voice with tenderness, woo.

He loves you too, that's his only job,
it's how he pays his room and board.
Behind his devotion, though, his dopey looks,

might be a beast who wants your house,
your wife: who in fact loathes you, his lord.
His jaws snapping while asleep means dreams

of eating your face: nose, lips, eyebrows, ears...
But soon your dog gets old, his legs
go bad, he's nearly blind, your puree his meat

and feed him with a spoon. It's hard to say
who hate whom the most. He will not beg.
So you put the dog to sleep. Bad dog.