United 1, Dallas 3

Keven Fucking Payne said:

"These things are never easy. Before the season, we agreed to talk in the summer and decide on the future. We wanted this to come out now so other teams, if they so choose, can recognize him and so our fans can say goodbye. We didn't think it would be appropriate after the season. He's deserving of a longer thank you."

Well, fuck you, me, and Jaime Moreno, who not only didn't start and wasn't the captain, he didn't fucking play. St Benny of Olsen is either an asshole or a coward. Kevin Fucking Payne is a petulant asshole and petty coward. Will Fucking Chang has no intention of keeping this team in DC one second longer than he can sell it or move it. Whether he's ordered the suck and deliberate alienation of the fans is now an open question.

Game summary: Suck. Suck suck suck suck suck, suck suck, suck suck suck. Suck suck suck suck suck suck suck. Suck.

Yes, I owe everyone pints.

Here's Landru. Here's Fullback.