BLCKDGRD

Practice Losing Farther

Who punked whom, Obama or McCrystal, is today's media sherbet.

Maybe Obama punked McCrystal, but what a fucking slinky Obamalame is, chucking bones into the news vacuum hoping to win today's Gallop.

Absolutely McCrystal punked Obama. He gets out of Dodge while the getting is good while making himself a hero (with all the money that will come of it) to Crackerstanis. How soon until a major pigblog floats McCrystal 2012!

Who the fuck cares? Deck chairs, Titanic. What's important is this: fucking Americans, who until 11:50 AM 6/23/10 didn't give a fuck of a flying fuck about soccer, are going to fuck it up for me so fucking thoroughly that by Saturday I'll not be distraught if fucking Ghana wins.

UPDATE! The true McCrystal scandal.

UPDATE! I've just been invited to a Saturday viewing party by someone at work who two weeks ago chided me for wasting my time watching soccer. Bwrtz.

• Murder with malice aforethought.
• Five questions.
• A quick reminder about revolutions.
• On the Marxist theory of money.
• The bloody obviousness of most good predictions.
• We're not worthy of Obama.
• UPDATE! The upcoming coup.
• Israel might kill you.
• Crapman!
• UPDATE! *!wOOt!*

• MOCO priorities. Why not increase the property taxes on fucking McMansionists who send their fucking spawn to fucking Bullis?
• MOCO panhandlers. Every stoplight on Rockville Pike has a beggar. Some will take the apple I offer, others will tell me to shove that apple up my ass.
• Wheaton!
• Wheaton!
• Ten worse roads in DC? No Kenilworth Avenue?
• Because the Gulf oil spill can't get to Virginia fast enough.

• Fiction not dead, today.
• Slapping Siegel.
• New precisionist.
• Tom Clark: Eleven poems. (h/t)
• Bring the noise: the theological analog of noise music was atheism.
• UPDATE! Prayer for the paranoid.
• Upper East Side.
• UPDATE! Why the fuck is Jack White on my radio?
• Obscure Sound's Best of May (w/MP3).
• UPDATE! Women who love men who love drugs.

ONE ART

Elizabeth Bishop

The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant 
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

--Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

Seb's post reminded me of another one of dozens of my....

USA 1, Algeria 0: Blarg the First

While I don't like Jose Altidore's punkassbitch act - which he toned down today - he was the best player on the field and was responsible for more than half of USMNT's chances and was responsible for the cross that created the shot whose rebound fell to Donovan.

The backline is a problem - Bornstein isn't good enough, DeMerit is bad in the air, Bocanegra is dependable but slow, Onyewu, in the most urgent game in recent history, was benched - and the fourth midfield spot is a MAJOR problem - why Bradley doesn't start Feilhaber mystifies me - and the second striker is a problem - Findley, Gomez, Buddle all failing auditions - and Donovan and Dempsey are problems, each disappearing for minutes at a time, but the USMNT is through, group winners, and were the better team in all three games.

Pressure is off: any wins now are gravy. Here's hoping: USMNT/Whomever winner plays Argentina/Mexico winner, and though I think it likelier USMNT beats Germany/Serbia/Ghana than Mexico beats Argentina, how sweet would a USMNT v Mexico game in the quarterfinals be?

UPDATE!

The scenarios: Ghana, Serbia win: U.S. plays Serbia. Ghana, Australia win: U.S. plays Australia. Germany, Serbia win: U.S. likely plays Serbia. Germany, Australia win: U.S. plays Ghana/Australia, depending on tiebreakers. Two ties: U.S. plays Germany. Ghana wins, Serbia-Australia tie: U.S. plays Serbia Germany wins, Serbia-Australia tie: U.S. plays Ghana/Serbia, depending on tiebreakers. Serbia wins, Ghana-Germany tie: U.S. plays Ghana. Australia wins, Ghana-Germany tie: U.S. likely plays Germany.

UPDATE!

UPDATE! Sweet. I urge everyone who hated soccer to please continue hating soccer.

UPDATE!

USMNT v Ghana Saturday afternoon, Germany v England Sunday morning. Excellent, though how lame was my prediction that Serbia were a sleeper when they can't even beat Australia?

Aargh: The Aarghing

OK kids, same drill. Comments are welcome before, during, and after the game.

England are wearing all red. That's the ticket. Still, I've a (stoopidass) feeling they're going to pound Slovenia, so USMNT better pound Algeria. Since Algeria needs to win, there should be space for USMNT to attack as Algeria pushes forward.

Line-up when I have them. No Findley - he's out on yellows, so maybe it's Buddletime.

UPDATE! Nope, it's Gomez-Time:

Goalkeeper: Tim Howard.

Defenders: Steve Cherundolo, Jay DeMerit, Carlos Bocanegra, Jonathan Bornstein.

Midfielders: Landon Donovan, Michael Bradley, Maurice Edu, Clint Dempsey.

Forwards: Herculez Gomez, Jozy Altidore.

Onyewu benched. Good.

UPDATE! Oh dear, you didn't take the morning off from work? You can at least be thankful you just didn't see Bono the Whore on ESPN's pre-game show introduction. I was walking through the room and caught it. Gah!

Yes, I will god-taunt - good things.

UPDATE! ESPN's live US pub shoot is from Seattle, where they're drinking beer at 630, and my friend Stevie Zoom, who sent me this email last night, is there: Wed morning I'll be at a Scottish pub near my house called St. Andrews. I've spent more time there, the last 3-4 years, instead of the Brit pub which is so crowded to the point of being uncomfortable to enjoy a game. I mention this as the Scot owner tells me a camera crew from ESPN may be there to get the crowd shots so he's letting me ahead of opening at 6am so I can secure a table for our group. Kasey Keller will also be there but I hope his recent bad form does not instill any bad vibe towards Howard. Didn't see him in the first shot, but hope to before game's end. Didn't see him in first shot, but will be looking for him.

UPDATE! Edu over Clark. GOOD!

UPDATE! Right now at The Guardian:

Mofos, I want English despair almost as much as I want a USMNT victory.

UPDATE! Holyfuck, DeMerit gacks a long ball and Algerian striker hits crossbar, then Gomez almost scores at other end. US defense looks for shit. Should be 0-1 Algeria.

UPDATE! England in all-red looks ridiculous.

1800 - Dempsey playing farther back than usual, emphasizing defense first. Fine with me.

2000 - That wasn't offsides. Altidore and Bradley do good work, Gomez hits keeper, ball bounces back to Gomez who shoots again, Dempsey scores, disallowed for offsides. Haven't seen a replay yet, but it looked onside.

UPDATE! England scored.

UPDATE! Dempsey wasn't offsides.

3000 - Lull. USMNT taking punches. Bornstein being punked. Left side defense in trouble.

3430 - Good thing Algeria sucks, cause a decent team would have two.

3600 - Unfortunately USMNT sucks too. A decent team would have two.

UPDATE! Landru writes: Fredtidore! (TM) WTF? Every fucking time he's dribbling right at the defender, whether or not he has support.

Halftime: A goal disallowed that shouldn't have been, opportunities in the box gacked, defense a shambles, England winning. Uh-oh.

And while I don't think FIFA instructs its referees to fuck the USA given a chance, how much must the rest of the world enjoy watching the referees fuck the USA? (And I say this as someone who doesn't blame referees enough according to some, USMNT or United-wise, who believes if USMNT crashes out it's because they will have deserved to crash out.)

UPDATE! Feilhaber in for Gomez. Same move as the Slovenia game - put Dempsey more central, behind Altidore. Good.

4900 - Dempsey dives like he'd taken an elbow to the head, wasn't even touched. Pussy.

5600 - Dempsey hits post, can't finish rebound. Great run by Altidore to set it up, but omens are bad.

6100 - Fucking Algerian diver gets Altidore a yellow.

6200 - Bocanegra saves goal with excellent sliding block on a cross.

6400 - Buddle in, Edu out. About fucking time.

6600 - Donovan has disappeared. Had a chance to run one on one in space, pulled up, made easy pass, attack gone.

6730 - Buddle misses pointblank header, Algeria on counterattack GACK! a sitter. Jeebus.

7000 - Feels like a goal is coming, not sure which team.

7300 - FK USMNT just out box on left. Disallowed goal coming?

7330 - Nope! Bradley gacks a header!

7600 - Ian Darke and John Harkes begin the Referee Whining.

7800 - Another FK USMNT about same space. Bradley hits it straight at keeper who knocks it away.

7900 - In biggest game of his career, Donovan has disappeared.

8000 - Beasley in, Bornstein out. Why not? They need to win. England isn't giving up a goal.

8200 - Another FK USMNT after Altidore run. Algeria could have picked up two reds in last two minutes.

8300 - Dempsey skies it over goal. What a fucking waste.

8700 - Body language bad, energy spent, passes sloppy, crispness gone. They haven't quit, but they don't think they can win.

8830 - Buddle, gah.

8930 - Bad call on Beasley for handball in box. Takes yellow.

9000 - Four minutes stoppage.

9100 - Well then, god-taunting works sometimes. On breakaway, finally.

9400 - Killing time over a free kick.... that's it.

Holyfuck, USMNT win Group C. That's as hard a god-taunting as I remember ever god-taunting. You're welcome.

Gotta go to work. Aargh the First later this afternoon. Jeebus.

I See You Coming from Very Far Away, Leading Your Bony, Wind-Broke Horse

Regular programming does not resume today, except it does.

I'm still kabonged by all of this past weekend, the kabongiest weekend since the last kabongiest weekend until the next kabongiest weekend (which might be, holyfuck, the weekend after next when we pick up Planet in Indiana and immediately drive to the Gah! in Uniontown! - about which more later, or not), and I need to bake more almost as much as I need create and then damnify my damn for tomorrow's USMNT v Algeria game, so just a question then some links:

My cellphone rings yesterday and I answer without checking ID, I just know it's Planet, hope it's Planet, I say Hi, Sweetie, it's a DNC pollster, my cell number perma-databased from when I not only voted Democratic I donated money, I canvassed for votes. I told the pollster first to delete my number from any and all perma-databases and then to fuck off. They will call me at least more three times this month.

OK, that's not a question.

• Memo to victims.
• Yes, if he can kill you, what other laws matter?
• UPDATE! The Obama Dilemma, plain.
• Objective?
• Catfight!
• The Democrat's authority problem.
• Did you say bite me? Hehfulness.
• McInsubordination!
• UPDATE! Obamalame. What a fucking lame motherfucker.
• Not a bet The Stiftung would make.
• UPDATE! Empire's apologists.
• The horrifying scumbag playbook.
• A hole in the world.
• UPDATE! YFWP marks a "breakthrough in terms of pure idiocy." Yes, it is Richard Cohen.
• Slapping Brooks so you don't have to.
• UPDATE! BLCKDGRD translated into Italian by some creep googling images of eformeday eoplepay.
• Smile.
• UPDATE! Michael Pollan or Michel Foucault?

• Ehrlich will test my new never vote again for a Democrat resolve. By the way, there are Ehrlich signs up and down I-70 between Hagerstown and Hancock.
• UPDATE! A year ago in DC.
• Awesome!

• Awesome!

• How much karma on schadenfreude on England's and France's bwahaful World Cup clusterfuck should I burn?
• UPDATE! The (French) players have been booked to fly home tomorrow evening in economy class and the midfielder Abou Diaby was asked if he considered this an insult. "I think in the next few days, something will be said," he replied. "Now is not the right moment to speak about these things."
• Dimitar Berbatov is.... The Continental.
• UPDATE! Howard Webb speaks! Worth hearing.

• Poetry: what's the criteria?
• UPDATE! Fuckityfuck, if more people read poetry than debated its future there would be fewer stoopidass debates about poetry's future.
• Summer of Contempt.
• Big Gay Blog Post playlist and podcast.
• The English Motorway System.
• Dead finks don't talk.
• UPDATE! This week's releases, w/MP3.
• Darkblack's Sunday Overnight.
• Why I woke up with this in my head I've no idea, but be in yours, though you won't think of Audrey all day like I will.
• Very emergency.

STOP WHIMPERING AND SPEAK

James Galvin

Sad Master, I see you coming from very far
Away, leading your bony, wind-broke horse.
Turn back. I'm busy dividing my time.
My love is the death of kisses. I live
With her apart in the wind of constancy.
There's nothing you can do, given what you have done.

Have I ever mentioned I love Archers of Loaf?

Theme Song (2) June 2010

That song was on the radio when, a quarter after midnight this morning, one mile east of the Allegheny Mountain tunnel on the Pennsylvania Turnpike, starting the twenty mile descent to Bedford, an 18-wheeler in front of me, an 18-wheeler tail-gating me, the 18-wheeler to the right of me didn't see me and swerved into my lane and I thought we were going to die, I thought, thank god we abandoned Planet in Indiana and she isn't in the car.

Regular programming resumes tomorrow. Probably.

Your Daughter's Tall

I'm not buying Sirius, at least not the package the rental has.

The radio in the car had 240 choices, at least thirty dedicated to broadcasting each MLB's local radio production and NASCAR and NASCAR and NASCAR. There are ten stations of stand-up comedy. There's CNN and MSNBC and Fox This, Fox That, Fox, Fox, Fox. There's Music of the 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, 00s, and station after station of suck upon suck.

I'm not going to listen to Deep Cuts, a station dedicated to filler tracks from albums of dinosaur bands. I'm not going to listen to The Coffee House, a station that proves Mojo Nixon's wisdom about folk singers and another hole in my head. I'm not going to listen to the Elvis station, the Springsteen station, the Jimmy Buffet station. I lasted fifteen minutes on the Grateful Dead station before flashing back all I needed.

We settled on First Wave, whose playlist requirements include one song every two hours by The Cure, The Smiths, The Pretenders, and Gordon Fucking Sumner's Band of Toxic Shit. Perhaps there are more choices - there was no classical, no jazz, no current indie, no world - but if this is the total package, Sirius isn't getting money from me.

The photo above is the view out the window of the Holiday Inn in Richmond Indiana, a town not nearly as charming as its tourist board, Wikipedia, and the Earlham College Committee for Propaganda promised us it was. It's not a hole, but it's not the postcard midwest town as advertised. When you get off I-70 you're greeted by one of those 100 foot tall metal crosses motherfucking christers plant in their motherfucking church's front yard, and US 40 looks like Rockville Pike for two miles before hitting downtown proper. Downtown is meh.

Earlham is cute, tiny. We saw a mother and child skunk snurfing for food. The campus was eerily deserted.

Today is going to be hard. We all agree this is a good idea. We all are fighting the urge to get in the car in ten minutes and go home now. Happy Fathers Day!

I am on a hook I baited myself: if asked, I will drive eight hours next Saturday to take Planet out for a two hour dinner and drive eight hours home Sunday.

A LITTLE TOOTH

Thomas Lux

Your baby grows a tooth, then two,
and four, and five, then she wants some meat
directly from the bone. It's all

over: she'll learn some words, she'll fall
in love with cretins, dolts, a sweet
talker on his way to jail. And you,

your wife, get old, flyblown, and rue
nothing. You did, you loved, your feet
are sore. It's dusk. Your daughter's tall.

To the Dog Chewing a Sock

Will be driving today to Indiana then driving back all day tomorrow, so no World Cup games for me the next two days. The rental came with free satellite radio, so maybe I'll be able to tell you if satellite radio sucks as much as I've been told.

I remember going to scout camp for a week each summer, can't-waiting to go until going was imminent, then not wanting to go till I could throw up, then adjusting in a day and not wanting to go home (or go home so soon), and in the before-camp Planet's my daughter; I'm betting at-camp and after-camp she is too.

Which is why when she said she wanted to go to a rising high-school senior two week college program (created as much to keep dorms occupied at the college - because empty dorms pay no rent- as providing an "authentic college experience"), we said sure.

We're buying (hopefully) only a minor watershed whose purpose is to prepare us all for the major watersheds coming.

• Liberatory nihilism.
• How my misreading of history harms progressivism today.
• Obama's War.
• Shapes of things.
• No one could have predicted.
• Eric Cantor: clownpig or pigclown?
• The politics of the World Cup. I'm going to buy the book.
• A view from England.
• Blame the Italian.
• 930 sues to stop Silver Spring Fillmore.
• Ouch.
• Libertytown! That's a mile from friend's place.
• RIP, Jose Saramago. Not a fan - I read Blindness, and meh, but friends whose opinions I deeply respect say good things, so I'll assume the meh is on me.
• Blegtown is turning to a ghost town.
• You're much too young, now that I'm thinking about it.
• Rat race.
• Happy Birthday, Bromark.
  

HAPPINESS

Jane Kenyon

There’s just no accounting for happiness,
or the way it turns up like a prodigal
who comes back to the dust at your feet
having squandered a fortune far away.

And how can you not forgive?
You make a feast in honor of what
was lost, and take from its place the finest
garment, which you saved for an occasion
you could not imagine, and you weep night and day
to know that you were not abandoned,
that happiness saved its most extreme form
for you alone.

No, happiness is the uncle you never
knew about, who flies a single-engine plane
onto the grassy landing strip, hitchhikes
into town, and inquires at every door
until he finds you asleep midafternoon
as you so often are during the unmerciful
hours of your despair.

It comes to the monk in his cell.
It comes to the woman sweeping the street
with a birch broom, to the child
whose mother has passed out from drink.
It comes to the lover, to the dog chewing
a sock, to the pusher, to the basketmaker,
and to the clerk stacking cans of carrots
in the night.
 It even comes to the boulder
in the perpetual shade of pine barrens,
to rain falling on the open sea,
to the wineglass, weary of holding wine.

Not the donkey:

Slovenia 2, USA 2: Blarg the First

Why it took Bob Bradley 135 minutes to put Landon Donovan behind Altidore is as mysterious as why it took 135 minutes for the USMNT players to understand the urgency, the nearness of the clusterfuckedness, and freaking play as if they are in a World Cup.

Yes, England tying Algeria today is the best result possible (UPDATE! See comments for correction re: England losing would be best result), though England winning today then beating Slovenia is another route for USMNT to get out of group, but I caution: assuming England would beat Slovenia is as risky as assuming the USMNT will beat Algeria.

I'm hoping the USMNT, who played the first half against Slovenia as if Slovenia were defeated before the first whistle blew, play the next ninety minutes as if the need to score five because they might need to score five if England wins today and draws v Slovenia. It's entirely possible England, Slovenia and USMNT end on five and goal differential will decide who wins group, who goes through, who goes home.

But look: Bocanegra is slow and Onyewu isn't fit, and while Michael Bradley is better than I thought, there's a gaping hole at fourth midfielder that neither Torres or Edu filled in their big auditions. I think Altidore needs to be on the field (though I really dislike his whiny punkassbitch act), with Donovan slightly withdrawn behind him, though that creates another midfield hole I'm not sure the team can fill. And where the fuck was Dempsey all game?

But 135 minutes before urgency sets in? That's on the players (and is why I can't get angry at the disallowed goal; it should never have come down to that).

135 minutes before Bob Bradley makes a significant tactical adjustment? That's on Bob Bradley.

UPDATE! I can't believe anyone thinks a team starting Jamie Carragher, Emile Heskey, and John Terry is a serious contender to win this tournament. If USMNT had played 90 against England with the same energy urgency they played the final 45 v Slovenia, they would have won.

UPDATE! That blue in the USMNT kit is gorgeous, but how ucking fugly is that goddamn white sash? Yes, that ucking fugly.

UPDATE! Landru in comments re: the disallowed goal:

I have to disagree with your usual not-wanting-to-whine position on the disallowed goal. While it shouldn't have come to that, it doesn't matter; teams try to do enough on the field. When what you have to do is altered by arbitrary nonsense, that's nontrivial. It doesn't invalidate your other points, but in this case, it's very clear that the disallowed goal was the difference. Might the Slovenes have equalized again? Sure. But the referee pooch-screwed the energy and momentum of the game with a blitheringly idiotic call that ignored the reality of what happened on the field (you can spot about five fouls during that play; not a one was on USMNT). Edu didn't touch anybody; four US players were being bear-hugged in the box. The call was awful, and (FAR) more than any single thing about USMNT's play, it cost two points. FIFA is supporting this POV by suppressing evidence--they've deleted all game commentary after the 75th minute from their Web site, the game highlights don't include the disallowed goal, and the only explanation they've given (in the now-deleted portion of the commentary) is that Edu committed a foul.

Bullshit. Edu didn't touch anybody--in fact, a Slovene was trying to make a sliding spikes-up tackle on him.

Conspiracy? Incompetence? I don't give a fuck about which of those was the referee's damage (incompetence seems more likely, given the things he ignored during the course of the game). We got screwed, and FIFA decided very quickly to squelch the debate. That bit is pure Blatter. Look for the fat fuck to give the referee a big upcoming game to reinforce his conviction that he gets to shit on the chests of football fans everywhere.

I did not know about FIFA's cover-up and video erasures, and yes, FUCK THEM if true.

Please don't get me wrong: I'm upset that goal was disallowed, but I'm more upset USMNT walked on the field like they'd three points in their pocket, I'm more upset Bob Bradley is one unimaginative and stubborn motherfucker, and most importantly, I'm more relieved they got a point and are still alive than angry at the disallowed goal.

UPDATE! Good news for England! Carragher gets a yellow, two in two games, he won't be able to play v Slovenia!

UPDATE! Here's one possible explanation for the called foul:

Odder yet, the foul that led to the free kick was another error by Coulibaly. United States striker Jozy Altidore ran right into a Slovene defender and fell theatrically, fooling Coulibaly into blowing his whistle.

It is unclear whether Coulibaly waved off the subsequent United States goal as a sort of makeup call for having awarded the Americans a free kick they didn’t deserve. But the Americans were certainly upset after the match.

Read the article: apparently he's a documented clown.

UPDATE! This article says the foul was called on Bocanegra.

UPDATE!  England sucks. And Beckham if a fucking clown.

UPDATE! Here are the scenarios:

* If the Americans beat Algeria, they will have 5 points. That would leave them in first or second place in the group, no matter the outcome of the Slovenia-England finale in Port Elizabeth on Wednesday, a match that starts at the same time as the United States-Algeria match.

* If the Americans draw with Algeria, they will have 3 points. In that case, they could advance only if Slovenia beats England, or if England draws with Slovenia by a low score. If England draws with Slovenia while the United States draws with Algeria, and England scores two more goals in their draw than the Americans score in theirs, they will have identical records. In that case, lots will be drawn to determine which team advances to the knockout phase.

* If the Americans lose to Algeria, they will have only 2 points and will be eliminated.

UPDATE! Why Ken Silverstein hate Landon Donovan:

First, Landon Donovan is an ass. After the game he said the referee “stole” the game by denying the goal that would have put the U.S. up by 3-2. 

Yes, the referee blew the call in disallowing the goal by Maurice Edu that would have put the U.S. ahead 3-2, but the free kick on which that goal came resulted from a bad call against a Slovenia player. As the New York Times noted, “The foul that led to the free kick was another error by [the referee] Coulibaly. United States striker Jozy Altidore ran right into a Slovene defender and fell theatrically, fooling Coulibaly into blowing his whistle.”

Hehful! more at the link.

I agree: everyone stop whining re: disallowed goal..... now.

Aargh: The Aarghing

37th minute as I start this, and while I credit Bradley for benching Ricardo Clark, why the fuck is Robbie Findley on instead of Buddle? No worries, he's out of the next game for a yellow for a face ball.

• Better. About time they showed some fucking urgency. 
• Oneywu is a liability.
• 42nd: Oopsy! Oneywu 2, USMNT 0.
• Updates coming. Comments posted if you want.
• Replay of the 2nd goal, and besides shoddy defense (it was a 2 on 4), Howard should have done better.
• Jack says, in two comments in prior post: Nice Slovene goal, eh? and Nice second Slovene goal, eh?
• Halftime: They're playing like the tie w/England was the hard work and they're through to knockout already. They took Slovenia too lightly, and payment is just.
• Halftime. Landru texts: Wow. What a fuckawful football team.
• Bob Lee just quoted some Donovan said that I hadn't heard: If we can't beat Slovenia, we don't belong in the World Cup. Baddabing!
• Agi (who captured the German reaction to the Serbia game) writes: damn, USA sucks. the slovenians have at least 10 yards of space to do whatever the fuck they want.
• 2nd half: Edu is for Findley, Feilhaber for Torres. Donovan to top.
• Well then. It's worked so far. Game on.
• Just before the goal, Landru writes: And I'm done being nice to Landycakes when he's wearing our laundry. He does nothing but gack hairballs when it counts. Fucking egoce.
• After the goal, Landru writes: Nice shot by Cakes. Heh. He then predicts: Edu was a fucking terrible sub. We're still going down. Slovenia will score two this half too.
• Shame it took 135 minutes of WC play for USMNT to show urgency. That's on coaching.
• By the way, the Germany/Serbia game: Serbia winning makes for a better WC, but jeebusfuckovich, the Viches should have scored seven.
• I am not an Altidore fan.
• 63rd: Momentum gone.
• 64th: Harkes officially begins blaming the referee.
• 65th: When was the last time Clint Dempsey's name was mentioned?
• 69th: Altidore pulled down on run, yellow on Slovene #4, Donovan FK hits collapsing wall, rebound and shot saved. Dempsey pulled down in box, no call (probably shouldn't have been).
• Edu has been useless.
• Elric says Donovan-hatred is sacrosanct: I find it astounding that any self-respecting DC United fan can cheer for Landon Donovan... You should all be ashamed of yourselves.
• Gomez for Onyewu: offense for defense. Good!
• WOOT! What a goal!
• Why the fuck did it take 135 minutes for USMNT to play with this kind of urgency?
• Holyfuck, what was that? That can't be offsides? Foul?
• Jeebusfuck, you know Slovenia's gonna score now.
• 88th - and they should have right there on the header.
• 89th - and would have there if not for Howard.
• 92nd - camera focuses of bald American face-mullet. Huh?
• 93rd - gonna end up tied.
• Tie.

Well, after a relatively controversy free tournament re: referees, both games today extremely poorly refereed. That should have been a goal, USMNT should have been up 3-2.

That's not the reason USMNT didn't win: why the fuck did it take 135 minutes for the USMNT to wake up?

Gah. More later. I need to bake.

He Had to Vaseline His Skull Like Crazy to Even Get the Thing On

Here's what I wrote on Wednesday November 5, 2008:

What's exciting about an Obama presidency is that there are precious tiny odds he'll be better than we think and precious tiny odds he suck more than we think, doubling our chances to .12% his tenure won't feel like Lyme Disease. I want that .12%, Mr LaForge.

Doopty-doo, how'd that work out, rube?

The guy the Harmon Manoeuvre is named after (I can go five paragraphs deep in that before crying uncle), a guy who can object-subject-subject-object through infinite regressions in prisms and mirrors, types:

That’s precisely my disappointment with the BP situation. Obama is not actually capable of stopping the spill, but is quite capable of using it to reframe any number of political discussions as a result. Unnaturally gifted as an orator, his skill is in hibernation at a key moment.

I don’t regret supporting him early, but still wish we would see a lot more than we’ve seen in this BP crisis.

This isn't aimed at slamming him, it's aimed as balm for me. There are smarter people than me who are still stupid about the rules.

I do realize I'm self-flagellating like a zealot after an epiphany. I'll stop soon, for a few days at least as tomorrow is USMNT v Algeria and then Saturday we drive to Indiana to drop Planet off for two weeks at Earlham and then drive home Sunday. Will I stop forever? Sheeyit.

O! Sixteen years ago yesterday, the OJ/White Bronco chase, the day that reality TV started, quite possibly the single event that fundamentally changed the media forever. Discuss.

• And the gods laughed.
• A lamp unto nations.
• Slick video.
• Obamasshole.
• Jeebusfuck, our elites aren't even trying to pretend anymore.
• Capitalism.
• Suffering left-malaise? Some questions.
• Assclownery at NPR, which I post in part because I know the professor mentioned, and he's an assclown.
• A full-throated defense of Obama.
• The end of nowhere.
• UPDATE! Herbert?

• UPDATE! I never got Dos Passos (and I've tried on multiple urgings, but...). If you want to again or for the first time...
• The movie cannot be as good as the novel.
• Silver Spring Fillmore!
• Wheaton? There's an app for that.
• UPDATE! I'm not sure what ratio of Mexican good was Mexican good v French suck and indifference, but fuck, the French were indifferent to their suck. I didn't see Greece beat Nigeria, but holyfuck, Argentina looks like they might survive their coach.
• UPDATE! Barry Glendenning at Guardian said: Peep! Peep! Peep! It's all over - Mexico have won a throoughly deserved victory. to have any chance of getting out Group A, France will need to beat South Africa well and hope Uruguay and Mexico don't draw. If they play on that night like they did otnight, the draw won't matter because they've no chance of beating South Africa. Their manager is an idiot and almost to a man, their players are a disgrace to their country.
• New Film School single.
• Holyfuck, the new MGMT sucks.
• Grey cell green.
• No one can save us but Kim the waitress.

UPDATE! Well, from Herbert I flashed to this:

THE LIST OF FAMOUS HATS

James Tate

Napoleon's hat is an obvious choice I guess to list as a famous hat, but that's not the hat I have in mind. That was his hat for show. I am thinking of his private bathing cap, which in all honesty wasn't much different than the one any jerk might buy at a corner drugstore now, except for two minor eccentricities. The first one isn't even funny: Simply it was a white rubber bathing cap, but too small. Napoleon led such a hectic life ever since his childhood, even farther back than that, that he never had a chance to buy a new bathing cap and still as a grown-up--well, he didn't really grow that much, but his head did: He was a pinhead at birth, and he used, until his death really, the same little tiny bathing cap that he was born in, and this meant that later it was very painful to him and gave him many headaches, as if he needed more. So, he had to vaseline his skull like crazy to even get the thing on. The second eccentricity was that it was a tricorn bathing cap. Scholars like to make a lot out of this, and it would be easy to do. My theory is simple-minded to be sure: that beneath his public head there was another head and it was a pyramid or something.

Another one of dozens....