BLCKDGRD

Greenwald Stole Goldberg's Indian Drum: The Debate

Niell Carvallo Gallardo N'Galula Castillo Bošković!

Niell Carvallo Gallardo N'Galula Castillo, ladies and gentlemen:

D.C. United on Tuesday announced it has released midfielder Christian Castillo, ending a short and disappointing stint for the El Salvadoran international in D.C.

Castillo came to D.C. with much fanfare -- United held a press conference to introduce the 25-year-old midfielder -- and was expected to both bolster United's midfield and also help to re-invigorate the Salvadoran fan base in D.C.

But Castillo failed to adjust to the more physical play in MLS and made just 10 league appearances with United, starting eight, after being acquired on Dec. 18, 2009 from Mexican Second Division side Leon. Castillo did not score in 691 minutes of league play.

As I post this I'm meh I'm driving to George Fucking Mason in Fairfax Fucking Virginia during tonight's fucking rush hour for United's Round of 16 U.S. Cup game versus the Richmond Fucking Kickers.

I wonder at that sentence, a sentence a year ago I'd never have thought, I wonder what the hell has happened to me, I'm wondering if posting that sentence will morally compel me to go. If I had to guess now?

Fairfax Fucking Virginia. It's a great idea and only fair to Novamofos who had 270 to Germantown during rush hour.

Show up Novamofos! Here's an audition a chance to show you're special! Dulles United!

O! Kasper Fucking Payne. I'd better be good and boškovićed.

Or what? snorts Kasper Fucking Payne.

UPDATE!

ESPN bringing back Martin Tyler for 2014. OK, fine, just don't bring back John Harkes. Or Alexei Lalas.

The Wildflowers Beneath the Shade of Trees Gone Shivering Have Really Livened Up the Cemetery

Bacevich assumes permanent war is an option, not a feature:

The responsibility facing the American people is clear. They need to reclaim ownership of their army. They need to give their soldiers respite, by insisting that Washington abandon its de facto policy of perpetual war. Or, alternatively, the United States should become a nation truly "at" war, with all that implies in terms of civic obligation, fiscal policies and domestic priorities. Should the people choose neither course -- and thereby subject their troops to continuing abuse -- the damage to the army and to American democracy will be severe.

What the fuck does Bacevich think the heads of G20 countries are talking about behind closed doors other than using permanent war to alter the "terms of civic obligation, fiscal policies and domestic priorities."

FIFA responds to bad refereeing not by embracing video replay but by cutting off future replays of all future bad calls on stadium jumbotrons. Accountability through surveillance is for you, rube, not FIFA.

There are honored and battle-scarred soccer Bacevichs who believe in their honest hearts that FIFA still acts (if misguidedly) in the best interest of soccer, not the best interest of FIFA.

• Postcards from Hell.
• Live from Planet Norte.
• Down to the Gulf in lies.
• Burning sea turtles alive.
• What actually happened at G20 in Toronto.
• Black Bloc.
• Heh, my first thought too.
• Totempwog.
• Sensible Liberalism in the Age of Obama.
• The smartest thing you'll read about the Weigel Affair (and I'd add, blegrelling serves the same function as listserving for exclusivists, yo.)
• I've had the displeasure of actually once meeting Jeffrey Goldberg (a function, I was an obligatory handshake), and he is a bigger asshole than I hope you can imagine.
• Look how labor supports the man's rules for winning.
• In YFWP, a Fat Kagan applauds Obama.
• UPDATE! Speaking of Fat Kagans.
• Grifter.
• Adrian Fenty = Pussy.
• Hey! Freida Bee is back.
• Dead plant spontaneously combusts?
• Glen Echo!

• Dimitar Berbatov is..... The Continental.
• New Seidel poem!
• New Robert Coover story!
• New Armantrout poem!
• On Russo, w/subsequent catfight. I haven't read Russo in years, but I remember liking Straight Man, but then again I'd worked on a college campus for a decade and was working on a graduate English degree when I read it, so the inside jokes worked for me.
• S'funny, I was looking for something else this past weekend and came up my copy of Levine's They Feed They Lion, which I hadn't thought about for at least a decade.
• Bleh.
• Not a coincidence with the above.
• One of the few non-fiction books I've read in the past three years reviewed. I recommend (though not enough at the time to say anything about it apparently.
• Know what? You paid money to see Courtney Love, shut the fuck up if it sucked you dumb motherfucker.
• Darkblack's Sunday Overnight.
• UPDATE! This week's new releases w/MP3.
• Montag reminds me of INC.
• Love is the drug.
• Today's Listening Assignment.
• Today's Listening Assignment.
• Today's Listening Assignment.
• Today's Listening Assignment.
• Today's Listening Assignment.
• Today's Listening Assignment.
• Today's Listening Assignment.
• Today's Listening Assignment.
• Today's Listening Assignment.

EXCEPTIONS AND MELANCHOLIES

Ralph Angel

Never before
had we been so thin and so clear
and arranged always
and in the same way gazing and listening
over the rooftops
to tin cans of flowers and strange
music. For an hour or more
I turned the same corner
and felt like a criminal farther and farther out to sea
among the racks of shoes and old clothes
but now looking
back I should never have
unpacked. A street
crowned with chestnut trees
ends at a sewer. You go to a theater
and find yourself a house
outside the city
and walk the shore
forever. I don't have much
talent for poetry. When I see a wrecking ball
dangling from a crane I mean it
literally. I mean
I don't mean the world's fallen apart
or that a wrecking ball
symbolizes the eye my world-weary sister
couldn't know to turn away
from. The hospital's
exhausted. The little church is boarded up.
We leaned against the limestone
and liked the fact that tea
sweetens gradually
and that the wildflowers
beneath the shade of trees gone shivering
have really livened up the cemetery
and that the tall grass and the garbage
and especially the piled-up
newspapers and the rooftop pool
fit right in among
these windowless buildings
having gathered
as we are in the flesh again
and leading another life
altogether.

Dreamed about the movie last night, woke up with this in my head:

More Young is showing up in my CD player. S'funny, I almost don't remember putting the disc in, or rather, strange days.

Roxy Music did a cover:

What a great song.

Roxy has never not been regularly in my CD player.

USA 1, Ghana 2: Blarg the Second

There are many fascinating issues this World Cup raises which I may or not get to, including one prompted by Jack and documented by Bromark in the comments of yesterday's lame United post, but I want to first finish with USMNT and Bob Bradley before the games get too far away from me.

Does anyone think Germany wouldn't have sliced apart USMNT's defense as deftly as they disemboweled England? (Yes, one of the fascinating issues is the debate about video replay, and certainly England's wasn't-goal was a goal, but isn't it interesting we insist on more surveillance?)

Bob Bradley was not primarily responsible for Ghana's victory over USMNT, Ghana was primarily responsible: Ghana was big, fast, fit, technically skilled, and better coached, and the result was just. I'd be surprised if they don't beat Uruguay.

But Bradley is responsible for personnel and tactical decisions which made it easier for Ghana to win, and he must be held accountable for all the early goals - I've no doubt he can defense what he thinks the opponent's offense will do, but he can't conceive they might do something different than what he's scouted so he's not prepared when they do.

Falling behind early isn't because the players are flat and indifferent, it's because the other team is employing tactics that Bradley didn't scheme his team for just in case. The players look lost for the first twenty minutes, and that's on the coach. And it works against the offense because opposing coaches don't spend hours worrying what swerves Bradley's going to put into his attacking game plan.

I don't think Bob Bradley is the difference between crashing out at sixteen and winning a World Cup, but do I think a Guus Hiddink, with these players in this draw, could have got USMNT to the semis? Maybe.

Maybe not: it wasn't Bob Bradley's fault Bocanegra and DeMerit clusterfucked themselves in the third minute of overtime.

Don't talk to me about Gold Cup, the next meaningful game won't be until WC14 qualifying begins in 2013 (unless USMNT can get itself invited to Copa America - update below). Tell me, who on this roster will still be important, if on the team at all:

Forwards
• Jozy Altidore, Villareal (Spain) - Maybe
• Edson Buddle, Los Angeles Galaxy - No
• Robbie Findley, Real Salt Lake - No
• Herculez Gomez, Pachuca (Mexico) - Maybe

Midfielders
• DaMarcus Beasley, Rangers (Scotland) - No
• M Bradley, Mgladbach (Germany) - Probably
• Ricardo Clark, Frankfurt (Germany) - No
• Clint Dempsey, Fulham (England) - Probably
• Landon Donovan, Los Angeles Galaxy - Probably
• Maurice Edu, Rangers (Scotland) - Maybe
• Benny Feilhaber, Aarhus (Denmark) - No
• Stuart Holden, Bolton (England) - Maybe
• Jose Torres, Pachuca (Mexico)- Maybe

Defenders
• Carlos Bocanegra, Rennes (France) - No
• Jonathan Bornstein, Chivas USA - No
• Steve Cherundolo, Hannover (Germany) - No
• Jay DeMerit, Watford (England) - No
• Clarence Goodson, IK Start (Norway) - No
• Oguchi Onyewu, AC Milan (Italy) - No
• Jonathan Spector, West Ham (England) - No

Goaltenders
• Brad Guzan, Aston Villa (England) - No
• Marcus Hahnemann, Wolves (England) - No
• Tim Howard, Everton (England)- Maybe

The entire defense is old and suckful (except when it's young and suckful). The midfielders, Dempsey and Donovan (and Bradley), will have four more years of mileage on their knees. Altidore could make himself some decent money in Europe if he wasn't a punkassbitch, and I doubt he'll decide he doesn't want to be a punkassbitch. Guzan isn't particularly good, Hahnemann is 74, and Howard had a shitty World Cup, yo: it's not Bradley's fault Howard didn't get a hand to both Ghana goals, to Gerrard's goal, to at least one of them.

I think the talent level of this squad at this moment is quarterfinal level given breaks, good coaching, a good draw. I think the coaching level is never getting out of group. Crashing out at sixteen strikes me as a just grade.

O!

I do feel cheated of the game I might have seen if Lampard's not-goal had been allowed, but England wasn't going to win that game (and the same is true of Tevez's allowed goal that shouldn't have been - Mexico wasn't going to win that game).

I can't wait to watch Argentina-Germany (which hopefully I can see in a hotel room before the Gah in Uniontown), even better than a possible Netherlands-Brazil quarterfinals.

UPDATE!

"Gulati said the USA has no plans to participate in the 2011 Copa America in Argentina."

Why the fuck not? Is he out of his fucking mind? Send a young team and let them get schooled as part of building for qualifying for WC14.

Fuckityfuck, fire Sunil Fucking Gulati too.

UPDATE!

Dear Slovakia,

Arjen Robben is going to go to the left.

xoxo

Born 84 Years Ago Today

AVE MARIA

Frank O'Hara

Mothers of America
             let your kids go to the movies!
get them out of the house so they won't know what you're up to
it's true that fresh air is good for the body
             but what about the soul
that grows in darkness, embossed by silvery images 
and when you grow old as grow old you must
             they won't hate you
they won't criticize you they won't know
             they'll be in some glamorous country
they first saw on a Saturday afternoon or playing hookey

they may even be grateful to you
             for their first sexual experience
which only cost you a quarter
             and didn't upset the peaceful home
they will know where candy bars come from
             and gratuitous bags of popcorn
as gratuitous as leaving the movie before it's over
with a pleasant stranger whose apartment is in the Heaven
    on Earth Bldg
near the Williamsburg Bridge
             oh mothers you will have made the little tykes
so happy because if nobody does pick them up in the movies
they won't know the difference
             and if somebody does it'll be sheer gravy
and they'll have been truly entertained either way
instead of hanging around the yard
             or up in their room
             hating you
prematurely since you won't have done anything horribly mean yet
except keeping them from the darker joys
             it's unforgivable the latter
so don't blame me if you won't take this advice
             and the family breaks up
and your children grow old and blind in front of a TV set
             seeing
movies you wouldn't let them see when they were young

Columbus 2, United 0

I still believe teams lose on their own, in spite of not because of the referee, but as soon as I saw the referee was Terry Fucking Vaughn I knew my soccer day wouldn't be complete until he royally reamed United, et voilà.

United lost all by itself for all the same reasons it's been losing all season. I haven't the gah to list them again, needing to spend a bit more gah on the USMNT. Perhaps come mid-July Bošković can Branko some service to Pontius and Allsopp (who can score if the ball it teed-up but...) and United can rise from shitty to mediocre, but meh, I'm empty. It will pass.

USA 1, Ghana 2: Blarg the First

I'll was going to wait to yap about my soccer jingoism - and first the game: the result was just - but I can't:

Bob Bradley's arrogant, stubborn, fuckyouistic style of management - Fuck You, my original line-up was best even if it got the worse results - exactly mirrors America's arrogant, stubborn, fuckyouistic management of empire.

Ricardo Fucking Clark. Bradley would rather lose his way than win any other way. Ding!

UPDATE!

"After the match, Landon Donovan said the U.S. was just "too naive," which can really only be taken as a critique of their unacceptable preparation for a team they were favored to beat," (from the above link).

Aargh: The Aarghing

Win or lose, fuck Bob Bradley:

• Goalkeeper: Tim Howard. 
• Defenders: Steve Cherundolo, Jay DeMerit, Carlos Bocanegra, Jonathan Bornstein. 
• Midfielders: Landon Donovan, Michael Bradley, Ricardo Clark, Clint Dempsey. 
• Forwards: Robbie Findley, Jozy Altidore.

Yeah, start the line-up that, minus Robert Green's life-changing blunder, couldn't score.

Ricardo Clark?

Fourth midfielder IS this team's greatest, probably fatal, weakness.

• I can say this: the sooner USMNT crashes out, the sooner I stop getting two hundred hits a day looking for images of Landon Donovan's ex-wife, one of which I posted in July 2009 because I had no idea Landon Donovan had a hot (now ex-) wife.
• Players on yellow cards who'll miss the quarter-final if they're booked tonight: USA: Right-back Steve Cherundolo, centre-back Jay Demerit, striker Jozy Altiodore. Ghana: centre-back Jonathan Mensah, midfielders Anthony Annan and Dede Ayew.
• I do wish Carlos Bocanegra didn't look like Max Bretos.
• Yap in comments, I'll post them up here (probably).
• What minute does the Ghana goal come? Twelve.
• Randal goes Desi on Lucy Bradley: Oh, Bob, you got some 'splainin' to do.
• Ghana's kit is awesome.
• 110 - Run, Jozy.
• 430 - Missed it by eight minutes. Ricardo Fucking Clark gives it away in midfield, Prince Boatang runs past DeMerit, beats Howard (who should have done better).
• 630 - Clark takes a stupid retaliatory yellow. FUCK BOB BRADLEY!
• 1130 - Mick Fucking Jagger sitting next to Bill Fucking Clinton. Explains much about the world you live in.
• 1230 - I guarantee you've never seen or heard a Rolling Stones song on this bleg, and - my promise to you - you never will.
• 1300 - When does the second Ghana goal come? Eighteen.
• 1630 - Findley almost poaches a headed backpass.
• 1700 - Cherundelo bad foul just outside box, takes yellow, would miss next game (at the moment, doesn't look like it's going to be an issue).
• 1800 - Jack says: "Yeah, Black Stars."
• 2000 - Ghana playing smarter, more bravely, more urgently.
• 2200 - Better, Dempsey plays in to Bradley who square, keeper grabs.
• 2300 - Ghana's players both faster and quicker.
• 2600 - USMNT ball-watching on offense - no one making runs.
• 2700 - Ghana should have scored there. Defense not communicating.
• 2730 - And who the fuck was Cherundelo passing to?
• 3000 - Fuck Bob Bradley. Wasted substitute. What a dumb motherfucker. Fuck Bob Bradley.
• 3400 - First good buildup by USMNT - ball on Findley's foot, should have done better - should have scored - though Ghana keeper did well to make himself large.
• 3600 - OMFG, John Harkes just said what I was about to type: Where the fuck is the Altidore we saw Wednesday.
• 3630 - DeMerit has another horrible experience with ball in air, gives up pointblank shot, saved well by Howard.
• 3800 - USMNT free kick from right 35 yards, Donovan hits it well, off Ghana head for throw in.
• 3930 - More from Jack.
• 4000 - USMNT looking a bit more dangerous, though Bradley's pass into box very poor.
• 4300 - CK USMNT, too high for Bradley, to short for anyone else.
• Halftime - only being down by one feels almost like a tiny victory. USMNT looks slow, disorganized, disinterested. To an extent, maybe it was inevitable that they'd come out flat after the emotional win Wednesday, but that does not excuse bad passes, shitty giveaways, lack of hustle. I imagine there will be screaming at halftime.
• Halftime - and if I was Ghana, I'd be extremely disappointed to not have at least one other goal. USMNT was there to be beaten in twenty minutes and Ghana didn't put them away. If Ghana lose, they'll deserve it.
• Halftime - Jack is sick of Darke and Harkes. Elric recommends Univision.
• Second half - Feilhaber in for Findley. Fuck Bob Bradley. Two wasted substitutes - what a fucking and stubborn moron.
• 4630 - Great run by Donovan who crosses, Ghanaian defenders flub cross, Feilhaber almost scores.
• 4800 - Ghana defense suddenly disorganized, panicky.
  
• 5200 - Earthgirl screams at John Harkes to STFU.
  
• 5230 - Run, Jozy.
• 5500 - No, that wasn't a penalty.
• 5730 - Well, DeMerit saved a goal there on counterattack. There will be at least one more goal i this game.
• 5800 - USMNT takes foot off the pedal, lets Ghana catch its breath.
• 5900 - Though they are working the right flank with repeated success.
• 6030 - Yes, that was a penalty.
• 6150 - Yes. Deserved. Jeebus, he almost missed it, hitting the post.
• 6300 - Planet texts from Indiana - "Yay!"
• 6400 - Got a feeling a straight red is coming. Probably Ghana.
• 6500 - Earthgirl calls Harkes an ass, tells him to STFU again. This July is our 22nd anniversary.
• 6830 - Please stop showing me Mick Jagger.
• 6900 - Ian Darke ask John Harkes why Feilhaber doesn't start. Let me answer that: because Bob Bradley is a stupid and stubborn FUCKING MORON.
• 7030 - Ghana is on it's backfoot. I can't see them scoring except on counter - which is very possible, mind - but they aren't even trying to build.
• 7200 - First (I think) Ghana sub.
• 7430 - Should this go to overtime, USMNT legs might be spent - the energy level is already dropping - and Bob Fucking Bradley should have three subs in his pocket, but he's a fucking moron and only has one.
• 7530 - Incredibly weak finish by Bradley on a well-timed pass from Altidore.
• 7700 - Boatang out, Appiah in.
• 7800 - USMNT defense vomits on shoes in box, is lucky not to give up bad goal.
• 7900 - USMNT running out of gas. Passes are again sloppy and mistimed.
• 8000 - Altidore in box, probably not a PK, he almost scores falling down. Not going to get that call in the 80th minute of a knockout in a tied game.
• 8100 - USMNT FK thirty yards out right of center. Dempsey on ball....
• 8130 - straight into the wall. Gah.
• 8430 - I know you want your striker to be selfish, but Altidore tries dribbling through two with Donovan waiting five yards away to make a cross.
• 8700 - Legs for both sides are dying.
• 8900 - USMNT out of gas. DeMerit makes good (but desperate) header out of box. Playing now just to get to overtime.
• 9000 - Three minutes stoppage.
• 9045 - Ghana maintaining possession, though Altidore breaks away and is taken down for a yellow.
• 9230 - Ghana will have last chance. Bornstein heads ball out. CK Ghana.
• 9300 - Goes out. Overtime.
• USMNT was as superior in second half as Ghana was in first. USMNT should have put the game away and didn't, though they didn't create as many clear chances as their possession deep should have.
• Have I mentioned that Bob Bradley is a fucking moron? What could a creative coach - what could Guus Hiddink - do with the talent on this team? I'm not saying USMNT would be a serious contender, but they'd certainly be better, more dangerous.
• Gomez in, Altidore out. GOOD! Gomez is a poacher, and Altidore wasn't himself, perhaps slightly injured - he did have the bad ankle.
• 9200 - Sheeyit, USMNT looks tired, and KABANG! Ghana scores. 
• 9300 - It was an exceptional effort by Gyan, but Bocanegra should have done better, and DeMerit shouldn't have been ten yards behind the play.
• 9400 - Howard should have done better. The ball went directly above his head.
• 9600 - USMNT has chance in cross, Feilhaber bangs it off defender for a CK.
• 9630 - Where was this urgency in the last 20 minutes of regular time? Oh, right, in Bob Fucking Bradley's pocket!
• 9830 - Ghana carrying ball deep. There might be a third coming soon. USMNT out of gas.
• 10100 - Ghana taking air out of ball. Bunker time!
• 10200 - Referee just allowed Ghana one minute for a throw-in. He's out of gas too.
• 10230 - USMNT on breakaway, ball on Donovan's foot, he softly makes a bad pass. Out of gas.
• 10500 - One minute stoppage. Ghana in control.
• 10600 - USMNT trying to dance through eight in middle. They created space in second half going wide, no longer have the legs to do it.
• 10700 - Bradley's poorest game this WC.
• 10800 - Bornstein earns a FK just out box top left. Punched away by keeper, though it was delivered far too close to goal by Donovan.
• 10930 - I'm sick of Ian Darke's act.
• 11000 - Ghana player fakes injury, two minutes now. Earthgirl is outraged, says American players would never do that. This explains much about why I don't talk about politics with her as much as I used to.
• 11300 - CK USMNT.
• 11345 - USMNT doesn't have enough energy to make even basic crosses. That was dismal.
• 11500 - CK Ghana. This should take a minute.
• 11600 - Darke and Harkes begin the eulogies.
• 11800 - Fuck Bob Bradley. This is on him. Fire his ass tomorrow. Even if they miraculously win.
• 11930 - Ghanaian player gives up his face to save Dempsey shot.
• 12000 - CK USMNT, punched out by keeper. Three minutes stoppage.
• 12200 - "They are dying, but dying bravely." Shut the fuck up.
• 12200 - USMNT can't get ball, game over.
• Fire Bob Bradley now. What a stubborn, stupid, motherfucker.

Blarg the First later. And there's a United game at 730 on Comcast and on your computer.

Pre-Aargh the Aarghing: The God-Taunting

Here are the pods to the semis:

• Uruguay/South Korea v USA/Ghana
• England/Germany v Argentina/Mexico
• Holland/Slovakia v Brazil/Chile
• Paraguay/Japan v Spain/Portugal

Holyfuck, the USMNT may never have an easier draw to the semis in another century.

Heh England, heh Germany, heh Argentina, heh Mexico.

And what's the over/under on number of dives in Spain/Portugal? 100?

Final Four: USA, Argentina, Brazil, Japan. With the World Cup in Brazil in 2014. Sepp Blattner's head explodes.

By August the rumors and grumblings about Brazil's stadium and infrastructure problems begin in earnest.

Round of 16 predictions urged. Aargh the Aarghing at 230 if you want to play.

Did You Know Washington DC Has a Professional Soccer Team?

And it plays in Columbus Saturday night still boškovićless as Branko can't play until July 15, so midfielders are auditioning fighting for minutes. I hope the difference between World Cup play third round and MLS after not playing for two weeks is or isn't as stark as I think it will be?

Read this:

I wrote earlier in the week that D.C. was ranked second out of the 56 metered U.S. markets in ESPN/ABC World Cup ratings through Sunday's games. The combined ESPN/ABC ratings in this market were a 3.5, translating to about 81,000 households, not including the Spanish-language broadcasts. That was behind only Miami.

Well, the overnight numbers are in for the U.S. group-clinching win over Algeria, and it's more evidence that this is one of the nation's futboliest markets. The D.C. market was fourth among metered markets (with a 5.4 rating), while the Baltimore market was second (with a 6.4). Move United North!

Oh, they will. 

It's takes, on all parties, an immense effort of greed, stupidity and prideful assholosity to make professional soccer fail in Washington DC.

Elric and Bromark, call your mother today.

*

Three bleg notes: Yes, the link color and quotation colors have changed. I know I can't use the yellow for first links because it can't be read in readers, but I hate that orange, so I'm going to see if I hate that green less, and to my old eyes, the brighter blue is better for distinguishing quotations. Meh.

Second, I've given myself permission to not feel coerced into adhering to the sillyass format laws for posts I've imposed on myself. I'll see how long that lasts.

Last, to those who've blegrelled me recently, thanks for the Kind. I think I've reciprocated with everyone, but if you're Kinding me and I'm not you, please send me an email and, as long as you're not running a bleg that's a front for a pharmaceutical company or some weird-ass NASA bleg in India, as long as we're copacetic, I'll return the Kind.

• Special form of the general law.
• UPDATE! The future of digital capitalism.
• Case study in organization violence.
• We will have waited too long.
• Annals of self-involvement.
• Moar.
• Fuckers, one and all.
• UPDATE! Well, this was predictable: pussy blames media for reporting the pussy called Obama a pussy.
• Pastor Sanctimonious hearts Obama.
• UPDATE! Your Fucking Washington Post.
• UPDATE! What Obama should have said.
• Self-editing access sycophants.
• Termination notice.
• Yow! Good riddance.
• UPDATE! America First?
• I stand corrected: "They will face Ghana in the Round of 16 on Saturday, and should they win, they will go on to face the winner of the Uruguay-South Korea match in the quarterfinals." I had thought and said USMNT would face winner of Mexico/Argentina if they beat Ghana.
• UPDATE! Portugal v Brazil was for shit.
• UPDATE! On the Portuguese.
• UPDATE! Fuck Spain, motherfucking rdivers.
• UPDATE! Landru emails: "We actually have to board the fucking airplane at the end of the first fucking half tomorrow. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck." Doh!
• UPDATE! Because nothing says take your fucking case of Turtle Wax and get the fuck of the stage like RINGTONE!

THE DOG STOLTZ

August Kleinzahler

The dog Stoltz pushed his paw pads into my neck,

the warm, beaten leather deep under my chin,

and let slip the one paw to up near my mouth

with all the filth of the many blocks we trod,

together trod, a well-moistened, adenoidal sound,

part sigh and part growl, coming out of him,

transported, he seemed, in a slow-motion delirium

as I tickled his chest and behind his ear

when he just then told me he’d tear out my throat,

looked in my eye and smiled, best as a dog can,

then turned ruminative and spoke once more:

—I simply have to knock off that essay on Sassoon.

This would have been Sassoon the war poet, understand.

Dogs cannot write. My mother told me this.

As for his talk, well, I took no special notice.

His love of the war poets was well known.

Stoltz would have been part bull and something else.

Two friends walked by just then, handily as these things go,

and inquired of us sitting down there on the stoop,

not even, a doorway merely, along a busy street,

how went the day and what pursuits was I attending;

but what interested the two of them most

were the tergiversations of the dog Stoltz,

first beast, then scholar, then abject and adored.

(Say, who among us does not care to be undressed?)

He was not really my dog, you see, and of this made note,

but were glad as well at my having a new dog in my life.

It was a busy stretch of pavement, Amsterdam maybe,

or Broadway, or farther down just south of Chelsea.

I can tell you it was the West Side, of that I’m certain,

and it was mild, spring-like, a few drops in the air.

The friends passed along and the dog Stoltz slept.

He was not my dog, you know. He simply followed me out

of what can only have been a very fine home,

such were his graces, his recondite tastes.

But he was a killer too, and rather smelled.

I cannot accommodate another animal now, please understand.

I am between places. I will yearn for Stoltz, but no.

Because: