United 0, Ningland 2

I'm not ready to proclaim SUCK! and the season doomed to be dismal, though I'd say SUCK! is far more likely than mediocre and mediocre way more likely than good.

Just to be mediocre, United will need to win 1-0 games. I don't see United's defense claiming many clean sheets. I can't see United's offense scoring goals.

Standing in line for a beer at half-time (the fucking beer vendors already kegged out of Harps and Guinness at the stand I was at, people angry in line complaining vendors kegged out all up and down the 300 corridor), everyone - everyone - knew United was going to lose, said United, as currently constructed, with Castillo in his yellow shoes already a horrible disappointment, Quaranta out of position and over his head as playmaker, with Moreno (ba'al bless him) tripping over his walker, with a bum like Kurt Morsink as holding midfielder, everyone said when United couldn't score in the first half, they weren't going to score in the second, and viola.

(Castillo in his yellow shoes - WTF? Even the Salvadoran fans, who were electric in pregame, loud and proud during introductions, at Castillo's first touches, were deflated after five minutes. Maybe he needs to adjust to MLS, but given Kasper Payne's recent record of nielling their signings, uh-oh.)

Put Barklage in the middle and move Quaranta back outside. Give Castillo one more game on left wing and if he still sucks, move Wallace back to left wing. The midfield is the biggest problem - try something else. Maybe go to a five with Morsink (until Simms is back) and Wallace back, Quaranta and Castillo on wings, Barklage (until something better arrives or appears) in the middle. But a game plan of playing over the top from the mid-line to Jaime trying to take on three defenders because the midfield cannot build is unacceptable. Jeebusfuck.

O! Note to Chris Pontius, who flew into the keeper trying to get a head on the ball - if'n that'd been Matt Reis you charged into, we'd be calling you Christina this morning.

One positive? I'm glad Perkins broke out the red keeper's kit.

Here's Fullback. Here's Shatz.

UPDATE! Wait, what's this?