Zip!

You're a 35 year old college coach who just took a team called the Zips to the NCAA finals, you're returning the core of your team, you've just been given a healthy raise, you're guaranteed not only a job for as long as you want, you're guaranteed sillyass money from those bullshit summer camps, and if you continue to succeed with the Zips you're guaranteed whatever college and/or MLS job you want, why the fuck would you leave to come coach the future St Louis United where, if United starts 0-6, you're thumb's up your ass and fuck out of luck? And 0-6 is much more likely than 6-0, no?

As for why United got the chubby for this guy in the first place, why they will now turn to the same Onolfo that turned Kansas City into such a perennial MLS juggernaut, the word "rinkydink" comes to mind.

I'm not surprised Porter said no (I'd have been shocked if he'd said yes), but Shatz is. Curmudgeon is more circumspect, though his despondent faith in United's front office is close to mine.

UPDATE!

Clown show.

Last season in DC, yo.

I'll gladly pay off all pint bets in 2011 if I'm wrong.