Well hell, that aptly - and justly - captured the season's essence.
I'll mull the obituary before (and if) I write it, but here's the gist: United isn't good enough to compete for silver as currently constructed and coached.
Here's Tenorio's player ratings:
Cronin 7, James 7, Jakovic 6, Burch 6; Wallace 6, Gomez 6, Szetela 5, Simms 6, Fred 6; Emilio 5, Pontius 5.5. SUBS: Moreno 6, Olsen 6, Khumalo 5.5
One last Soehn bashing: After doghousing Szetela since Kevin Payne wasted a player allocation on him, Soehn starts Szetela over Benny in the most crucial game of the year, GUARANTEEING at least one substitute. Yes, James headed in the second goal, but he headed it in WHEN HE SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ON THE FIELD because he was playing on one leg and Soehn didn't have a substitute in his pocket. The one fracking time this season Soehn NEEDED to bunker and bring in an extra defender HE COULDN'T, and in the most important five minutes of the season United essentially played with only two defenders, which led to Fred's handball on a poor clearance off a corner.
Last we've seen of Gomez, bandaged and limping. He's the symbol, not only of this year but the last two when he was banished for Veron nee Gallardo. I'll always wonder if Chang had been the sole owner, if MacFarlane hadn't been pushing for a big signing as part of his plan for his Poplar Point development ambitions, whether United could have banged out a fair deal with Gomez and got one more useful year out of him.
(I don't think it can be overestimated the damage MacFarlane did to this franchise, from on the field product to toxic relationships between the team and local jurisdictions. Thank Ba'al that greedy fucker is off fucking up his other businesses.)
Last we've seen of Emilio, who I don't accuse of dogging it, just say he's lost a step-and-a-half and all of his turn.
Last we've seen of Fred, who earned both PKs, though only the Kansas City one fairly. He must be the best practice player ever. I wonder what he thinks of Soehn.
Last we may have seen of Namoff, the irreplaceable player, who may have been worth one or two points in the games he missed.
Not the last we've seen of Benny and Jaime, though we have seen the last of their better days as players. One or both of them will be a coach, if not the head coach, next season.
UPDATE!
While I concede that "Fred dived for your sins" is indeed the line of the season, remember, while reading this guy's Season Obituary, that he will be giggling to himself for the rest of his life every time he thinks about that line.
Here's Curmudgeon, here's Fullback. Updates, links, edits, obit, later. Or not.