Middlebury

If I was eighteen and they'd have me, I'd go to Middlebury, though I confess I'm swayed by the brand new library with breathtaking atrium and astonishing natural light: I work in a concrete bunker with zero natural light.

I love the 4-1-4 schedule: every January is one course and one intense course only, and after your freshman year, if you don't like any of those offered, you can approach a faculty member with a prospectus for a class, and if the prof and the dean sign off on the academic rigor, you create your own class.

It's within twenty miles of the Long Trail, fifty miles of the AT, the Green Mountains are an hour away, the White Mountains two hours away, and the school provides the camping/kayaking/spelunking/rock climbing gear on an honor system. Zowee! Ski gear too, and the school has its own black diamond level private ski course. I'd learn to love snow.

Where am I as I type this?

Greenfield Fucking Massachusetts. We haven't made it to Williamstown or Amherst yet, but if they're as shitty as the Massachusetts I've seen in trips before and this trip so far, vomit-noise. I apologize to Lewiston Maine and Maine in general for comparing them to western Pennsylvania and to western Pennsylvania itself, which is the Riviera compared to fucking Massachusetts.

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Death Panel?

• Elderly white medicaid/medicare recipient? Die.
• Fat bald privileged face-mulleted white guy? Die.
• Race traitor? Die.
• Black Hitler? Die.

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• Didn't see the Mexico-USMNT WCQ, so can't comment, though this guy texted the CONCACAF ref reamed the USMNT, so it sounds like ho-hum. Too bad he doesn't have a bleg.
• A summation of the problem.
• The top priority in Tulsa.
• Cheney calls Bush pussy!
• Foggo.
• The B Vocabulary.
• I am the Walrus.
• Richard Wilbur.
• Five lit movements to watch for.
• This grandma? Die.
• A yes for Inherent Vice.
• A no for Inherent Vice.
• Like a dope, I got on the plane w/o Infinite Jest, which I'm halfway through and bogging down, so maybe I'm not a dope to give it a week's vacation, but like a dope I go into a bookstore and completely forget about Inherent Vice - I wasn't going to buy another copy of IJ - and bought this, which I'm eating like candy, I'm glad, I just can't believe I forgot about Inherent Vice (or that the bookstore didn't front-table it).

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FOR THE MAN WITH THE ERECTION LASTING MORE THAN FOUR HOURS

John Hodgen

He’s supposed to call his doctor, but for now he’s the May King with his own maypole.

He’s hallelujah. He’s glory hole. The world has more women than he can shake a stick

at. The world is his brickbat, no conscience to prick at, all of us Germans he can ich

liebe dich at. He’s Dick and Jane. He’s Citizen Kane. He’s Bob Dole.

He’s Peter the Great. He’s a tsar. He’s a clown car with an extra car.

Funiculì, Funiculà. He’s an organ donor. He works pro boner. He’s folderol.

He’s fiddlesticks. He’s the light left on at Motel 6. He’s free-for-alls.

He’s Viagra Falls. He’s bangers and mash. He’s balderdash. He’s a wanker.

He’s got his own anchor. He’s whack-a-doodle. King Canoodle. He’s a pirate, Long John

Silver, walking his own plank. He has science to thank. He’s in like Flynn. He’s Gunga Din,

holding his breath, cock of the walk through the valley of the shadow of death. He’s Icarus,

hickory dickerous, the mouse run up the clock. He’s shock and awe. He’s Arkansas.

He’s the package, the deal, the Good Housekeeping Seal. He’s Johnson & Johnson.

He’s a god now, the talk of the town. He’s got no place to go but down.

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