Seattle 3, United 3

College fucking baseball and its pussy aluminum bats. I'm grateful ESPN broadcasts MLS games, but they can't do a screen in screen? They can't put the game on ESPN News or ESPN Classic until the fucking college baseball with its pussy aluminum bats and pussy double ear-flapped batting helmets is over? No one can say into Glenn Fucking Davis' ear that it's not "the United" or into Kyle Fucking Martino's ear Seattle's keeper is Kasey Keller, not Josh Wicks. (I got up this morning and watched it on ESPN360.com, where it is now if you want to see it.)

Coming back from 3-1 for a point feels better than gacking 1-3 for a point, but I'm far less encouraged having watched the game than I'd have guessed if I'd been told beforehand United would rally from two down. I mean, yay and all, but.... what this guy says.

Here's Goff's player ratings:

Wicks 7.5; Namoff 6, Jakovic 4.5, Burch 3; Pontius 7, Simms 5, Jacobson 5, Fred 5, Wallace 5; Quaranta 7, Emilio 5. Subs: N'Silu 5, Gomez 7, Khumalo 5.

I need remind myself this was on turf, and the speed of a turf game exposes how tenuous United's defense is on grass. I'm not talking about the back three alone (though Burch's suckitude last night gives credence to my Burch-hating); the holding mids are a problem. Simms is dedicated and determined and limited and slow, and there's a gaping hole in the other holding that Jacobson, who failed another audition, can't fill and Wallace, whose tools are pluses on wings, can't play. Olsen, Ba'al bless Benny, isn't the answer. I'm sold enough on Simms, Jakovic, and Namoff, but that's two out of five spots of the back defense that are suckful. HEY! Ivan Guerrero was just released by Colorado.

Interesting that Gomez didn't start. I'm (wildly) guessing that Soehn reasoned that starting Fred on turf might take advantage of his speed on a speedy surface, and since Soehn didn't sub Gomez in when Fred went out injured, Soehm must have reasoned he wanted a full game out of Gomez this Saturday in Colorado and wanted to save some of Gomez' gas, but Fred, why would you start Fred at ten when you have a healthy and finally in-form Gomez?

More N'Silu, less Emilio. More Khumalo, less Emilio.

Pontius is the most important addition to this year's team. Quaranta is the team's heart.

Here's Shatz. More links, updates, edits later. Or not.

UPDATE! 10:22 AM EDT, after twenty minutes, Brazil 2, USMNT 0. Fire Bob Bradley. Why would you start DeMarcus Beasley, who is responsible for both Brazil goals? FIRE BOB BRADLEY! Right now, in the middle of the game. Jeebus Fuckity, USMNT sucks. And now the satellite feed just died.

UPDATE! 11:15 AM EDT. Kljestan off on another stoopid red card tackle, Maicon scores @ 62, Brazil up 3-0, should be 5-0. FIRE BOB BRADLEY! 

UPDATE! Look, I don't think the USMNT has the quality players to beat an Italy or Brazil in an international game that really counts, much less a faux international game like Confederations Cup. I don't think the USMNT team has the talent to get out of group play in WC10 unless it get's both a lucky draw and lucky bounces, but I do think it has an excellent chance, if it goes forward with Bob Bradley as manager, to finish 64th out of 64 in South Africa next year.

I could type, but here's a rant that says pretty much what I would have said and saves me the effort.

Also: Wheaton United? Where? Glenmont? Fuck-Me Jig, mofos.