United 1, Ningland 1

Hail Benny! My Benny-Love credentials are unassailable, but when United's best player is 107 in soccer years, playing on crap-ankles, so slow he doesn't take red, he's too slow to take yellow on most of his late tackles, talent, not Tom Soehn, is the major problem. Or?

Yesterday, at a DCenters' post about Soehn, I commented:

My impression is that he'd be a jerk to work for, based on nothing but (a) the kind of player he was (b) his apprenticeship under Nowak and (c) his willingness - if not eagerness - to hang his players in the press for United's failures.

Um,

"I would have never done the first sub, so he put us in a little bit of a bad spot," Soehn said. "If we are in the locker room, we have a lot of time to figure that stuff out. He has got to let me know right then so we can adjust." 

and

Asked about New England's goal, Soehn acknowledged the defensive problems but also said: "I think Louis [Crayton] has to come get that. I don't want to comment too much on it until I see a replay."

For pure and seething Soehn-hate, go here.

The game? I agree with some of this: if United had converted one - just one - of the ducks in a bright first half, I could have been writing how Soehn's bunkering led to a 1-1 tie in which Ningland scored in second half stoppage. The brainfuck that is a 1-1 tie, mofos.

But the first half was as well as United's played yet - and what did it get them? There was a conscious effort to get Gomez the ball, but here's the thing: maybe Gomez will round into form (instead of just being round), maybe that was his best game back, but what does that say? It's interesting that after his awful CKs last week he didn't take (m)any last night, certainly none early. And it can't be good that as soon as Soehn made the two half-time substitutes, we turned to each other in 232 and said, uh-oh, Gomez knows there's only one sub left - when does he pull up lame?

(There was one precious moment in the first half: Emilio and Gomez on a breakaway, a two on three breakaway admittedly, but Ningland defenders were back-pedaling while Gomez and Emilio were running at them, Emilio with the ball, Gomez on Emilio's left in as choo-chooing a sprint as Gomez' chubby pistons can pump, and Emilio finally shoots, weakly, from outside the box, and Gomez - puffing red - throws his hands disgustedly in the air and gives Emilio a fuck you you made me run fifty yards for that look that will be, unless Gomez does round into form, my lasting impression. Laughs were rich in 232.)

Here's Goff's player ratings:

Crayton 5; Namoff 6, Jakovic 6, Burch 5; Pontius 4, Simms 5, Olsen 7, Gomez 7, Wallace 6; Moreno 6, Emilio 5. Subs: Quaranta 5, Jacobson 5, Fred 6.

Why aren't Fred and Quaranta starting unless Soehn judges they suck, which is a point for Soehn, yes? Pontius did gack ducks, but he shot. Burch is awful.

Oheh, read this. Best analysis of United I've read this year - ownership, front office, players (and a surprisingly compelling case for sympathizing with Soehn), it includes this line:

Oh, and I figured out what Fred does during a match.  He kicks people. That is it.  Really.

Bwaha. How will United deal with it?

DCU's front office is aware of the comments and plans to handle it privately with the Dynamo.

What's the word I'm looking for?

Here's Shatz, here's Fullback.

Finally

Do you? Do you really? (Click, yo.)

I don't know whether United had a right to refuse ESPN's dictate, but 7:00 on a Friday night? The Beltway was gridlocked from 4:00 solid. Bromark, banished to Chantilly by War Overlords, couldn't make it down 66 to get to the Beltway by game time. This guy didn't get to 232 until the 25th minute, and only because he knows secret Moco tunnels (and their access codes) beneath Wheaton and Silver Spring. I made it easy, but I was coming from Georgetown and cut straight cross town. Why not start a Friday night game at 8:00? What? ESPN says bark?

This pisses me off: I get an email from United on Monday telling me I have FIVE WHOLE DAYS - actually, the mail went out Monday afternoon, so I had FOUR AND A HALF WHOLE DAYS - to decide and buy MY SEAT for a Gold Cup doubleheader on July 8. What if I'd been out of town for a week's vacation, without email this week? What if I have a potential conflict on July 8 (the day before Earthgirl's 21st wedding anniversary, for instance) and need to make sure nothing has been planned? What if I want more than FOUR AND A HALF DAYS to decide whether I want to go? What? USSF says bark? What? USSF wants to sell my seat for more than I'd have to pay as a season ticket holder?

Wait! There's more:

The D.C. United-Real Madrid friendly Aug. 8 at FedEx Field could be finalized as early as Monday.

FedEX Fucking Field - a hellhole to get to, a hellhole to be at, a hellhole x hellhole x infinity to get out of. Last time at FedEx (31K - RFK can hold 45K - United v Chelsea when Chelsea was all that - Heh! when United was all that - the "Clash of Champions"), LOUD SIDE! was banished to an endzone so the good seats could be sold at extortive prices. Fuck you.

It's my nature to think this way, and perhaps United had ZERO say in any or all of these decisions - BTW, the 24 OZ beer cups didn't show up as promised, Mr Sodexo: care to send me another snippy email? - but there's a WTF, We're All Going to Die and Move to St Louis attitude I'm getting from United vis a vis their growing lack of damn towards their customers. After all, if they're looking to move, driving away attendance to help accelerate and justify the move is all good, yes? LOUD SIDE! was PACKED! and JUMPING!, so fuck me, we be LOYAL AND STUPID RUBES, YO, but quiet side - the side that doesn't give the loyal damn - empty. Accident? UPDATE.

UPDATE! BLACK AND RED? UPDATE!

 

Elric goes to a soccer game in Sapporo. (Click, yo.)

 

Let's hope United tries to glorious Wednesday v Dallas.