Real Salt Lake 2, United 1

What's oof is that nothing in the game's unrolling and outcome wasn't what each of us forecast.

Selected notes from my notes:

900 - Gomez on break has Fred free on right in space and overpasses. Seconds later, Gomez leads Wallace on left long.

1200 - Emilio brilliant backpass to Wallace who GACKS! first touch.

1610 - Wallace another bad touch, lost possession.

1900 - RSL announcers PIMP CONCERTS AT RIO TINTO while screen-crawl PIMPS CONCERTS AT RIO TINTO by The Eagles and Kenny Chesney.

2000 - Findley loses Jakovic, Crayton saves, but uh-oh.

2530 - Emilio, offside? No replay.

3300 - Fred into box, good cross headed-out, CK DCU. Worse Gomez CK ever.

3600 - Beckerman smart shot low shielded, Crayton saves, urps rebound, Namoff clears.

3730 - GOAL UNITED! After CK cleared Pontius Fred work right cross to Emilio. Credit Pontius.

3900 - Cynical yellow Jakovic.

3930 - RSL GOAL! Cross into box,  OPEN-HEADER! sharply but square on Crayton who pushes ball into own net. Soehn didn't get a chance to bunker, fuck me.

4500 + 130 - Rimando, after diddling like only Nick Rimando can diddle, kicks a ball well and truly out-of-bounds, and Fred races over on his little shiny wheels and heads the ball out of bounds giving RSL a throw in with thirty seconds left in United's end of the field. Bromark?

4900 - Beckerman off cross-bar after DCU can't clear. Best player on field.

5200 - Jakovic saves goal with terrific poke.

5630 - Pontius is a mouthy whiner. After not-foul, Pontius whines, RSL defender makes derisive universal hand sign for mouthy whiner. Heh.

5800 - Namoff deep run on right, first time I noticed any defender that deep.

5920 - First Burch cross into box I remember.

6000 - CK DCU, Gomez short again.

6300 - Beautiful long ball over top to Findley, terrific touch by Findley, better poke by Jakovic, best play I seen him yet.

6500 - Beckerman, Morales, two best players on field.

6700 - Play towards RSL, feels like RSL goal inevitable, no goal DCU probable.

6900 - McTavish for Fred. RSL announcers ask why not Quaranta.

7000 - Since I wrote three minutes ago an RSL goal feels inevitable, admit minor hypocrisy when slamming Soehn for bunkering.

7300 - Great reflex save from Crayton, pays back earlier gack, but ANOTHER FRACKING OPEN HEADER!

7500 - Doe for Gomez, criticized by RSL announcers.

7600 - Pontius to ten.

7900 - Goal, deserved, RSL. Beckerman is the best player on the field, Morales second.

8100 - Quaranta for Wallace.

8500 - Meh.

8800 - Kwarenta (RSL announcerese for Quaranta) earns free kick in perfect Burch place.

8900 - Burch's FK as shitty as Gomez' CKs.

9100 - McTavish disembowels some RSL and only gets yellow.

9245 - Stott calls a foot-foul on a McTavish throw-in. Bweh, think he'd wish he'd shown red?

9300 - Over.

Oof, one game, United's oofful future.

Goff's player ratings:

Crayton 4.5; Namoff 6, Jakovic 5, Burch 5; Fred 5, Jacobson 6, Simms 5, Gomez 5, Wallace 5; Pontius 6, Emilio 6. Subs: McTavish 4.5, Doe 5, Quaranta 5.

Special Guest Quote!

REAL SALT LAKE HEAD COACH JASON KREIS
On the result:

“I just told the guys in the locker room that I had a coach tell me once before, ‘It is the very best teams who can win ugly.’ So that must make us one of the best teams, because that was ugly. I thought the second half was a lot cleaner for us defensively, but I think some of that was D.C. might have played that second half a little bit like they wanted a draw.

Fire Tom Soehn.

Here's D's first take, up last night, sparing me writing pretty much the same thing.

Updates when I see them.

UPDATE: DCenter's Debriefing is up. QV too.