You Only Thought You Hated Steven G-----d* or: I get all the news i need from the weather report

The Liverpool and England midfielder ­Steven Gerrard was last night charged with assault occasioning actual bodily harm and affray following an incident at a Southport bar which left a man needing hospital treatment for facial injuries...

One report suggested Gerrard and a group of his friends were involved in an altercation after the man refused to allow them to choose the songs played on the venue's sound system. Gerrard is a big fan of Phil Collins and counts the singer's greatest hits as his favourite album. He is also partial to Coldplay.

Meanwhile, Karl Rove writes:

Mr. Bush's 2006 reading list shows his literary tastes. The nonfiction ran from biographies of Abraham Lincoln, Andrew Carnegie, Mark Twain, Babe Ruth, King Leopold, William Jennings Bryan, Huey Long, LBJ and Genghis Khan to Andrew Roberts's "A History of the English Speaking Peoples Since 1900," James L. Swanson's "Manhunt," and Nathaniel Philbrick's "Mayflower." Besides eight Travis McGee novels by John D. MacDonald, Mr. Bush tackled Michael Crichton's "Next," Vince Flynn's "Executive Power," Stephen Hunter's "Point of Impact," and Albert Camus's "The Stranger," among others... Each year, the president also read the Bible from cover to cover, along with a daily devotional.

and Richard Cohen writes a column IN WHICH HE BELIEVES ROVE and lauds Bush while psychoanalyzing Bush's "list" for insights on Bush the intellectual.

I know I'm a rube, rooting for uniforms filled with physical freaks of nature and brains of muscle who consider rubes like me shit if they think of me at all, but if Liverpool's propaganda minister told me Stevie Mbe got caught in a fight defending the artistic merit of Elliott Carter, I'd remember who was speaking.

What's easier to believe, that Stevie Mbe picks a fight over his love for Phil Collins or George Bush bombs Arab civilians after reading Camus?

*HOLY FUCK, teh google.

I tried changing the title, but typepad brands a post whatever it's called when first posted, and the first post had Stevie Mbe's name in it, and KABOOM! Want to drive up your statcounters?

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Updates later. Or not.

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Bonnie Prince Billy?