My Giftmas Present To You

Your next President of the United States:

Here's a paragraph from the story:

On Sunday, Obama awoke early for a 7:15 a.m. workout at a gymnasium at a sleepy Marine Corps base on the island of Oahu. Michelle Obama, carrying an iPod and headphones, joined her husband for the 45-minute exercise session, according to a media pool report. As they emerged from the gym, Obama, in a gray shirt soaked with sweat, lifted his right hand to give a quick salute to a couple uniformed Marines standing nearby.

A quick salute to a couple of uniformed Marines standing nearby? MILKNOSESNORT!

Merry Giftmas: KABOOMERY! for the Giftmas family dinner, should it be necessary and/or amuse you.

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I don't care enough to follow closely enough to talk about the team - though it doesn't take a die-hard to know the hometown helmetballers won't win splat as long as Dangelos Snyder owns the team - but at least they're wearing the colors at home.

That is a fine uniform, helmetball-wise. Why the fuck you'd wear white at home unless you've always worn white at home mystifies me.

Now, if the hometeam brought back the real burgundy shirts and real gold pants and get that racist stereotype off their helmets, I might be able to summon more than a passing damn. Assuming television eliminates Coors Light commercials.

Football? Uncle Fiver's Christmas Awards are up.

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I praise Ba'al this, praise Ba'al that, and then I hear this from a respected Conservative cultural critic and philosopher:

Ritualistic Baal worship, in sum, looked a little like this: Adults would gather around the altar of Baal. Infants would then be burned alive as a sacrificial offering to the deity. Amid horrific screams and the stench of charred human flesh, congregants – men and women alike – would engage in bisexual orgies.

and reiterate how good League One looks from the bottom of League Two in Ba'al's pecking charts, cause while League One probably gets none of that, I know I get none of that.

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• You must look at THIS and THIS and THIS. Trust me.
  
• Culture War Pornocopia!
• Happiest, most profitable days of their lives.
• Bromark sends this along, and I urge you to let your boss see you using it.
• Watch THIS!
• PURPLE LINE! chevychasebitchez.
• Augie March read for the first time.
• Bolaño and the logic of dispersion.
• UPDATE: More on Bolaño. I agree with the point, adding, I think Bolaño idolizes literature while disdaining those who would idolize their idolatry of literature.
• Today's corpse:

• Gaddis. H/T Dan, who has more. I reread Frolic about two years ago. Considering the financial clusterfuck, considering fights over intellectual property - over what is intellectual property - considering the acceleration of consumerism as religion as embraced by both the priests and the laymen, all of them rubes, I bet JR's giggles will be funnier this time. Next.
• Boomkat's Top 100 includes boatloads I've never heard.
• Luckily for you, the fucking record company killed the embed code, but if this goddamn earwhig is in my head, I dare you to put it in yours.

Updates later. Or not.

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Thought about Sleater-Kinney lately?