BLCKDGRD

Blogopticon

So ends the slowest four days of the year in the blogopticon.

Blogmeh:

Providing you space to publish your independence is the simplest, smartest, most devious and easiest way Triskelions can keep loud-mouthed thralls enthralled.

Send me an email and I'll send you the above Fleabus, the wallpaper to end all wallpaper.

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• Elric writes once (with photos), twice, three times (with photos) from India.
• Obamyfuckingod!
• Dying of sadness in the shadow of empire.
• Not only the shittiest, shittiesterest. More.
• Pardoning Wal-Mart shoppers.
• Earthgirl and I were talking about this yesterday when we were hiking: where are all the acorns?
• Whoever this Ellis is, he's recommending books.
• List time! Of the listed fiction and poetry (and why do they group them as one category?) I've read only Beautiful Children (which didn't suck but was over-hyped), Diary of a Bad Year (which was like the longest, most boring class you ever sat through), His Illegal Self (proving to myself again I don't get Carey), The Lazarus Project (which I loved), Lush Life (yummy), Netherland (un-yummy), The Road Home (I thought OK, Earthgirl thought great, but she loves Tremain), and Sleeping it Off in River City (!!!!!!!!!!).
• Nigel Beale interviews Hemon.
• Challenge: I should listen to American Beauty, if only for flashbacks. Landru, can I borrow your CD?

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Sleeping it Off in River City?

ORIENTATION WEEKEND

August Kleinzahler

At the Hotel Oblivion, Airport Drive
 Mezzanine, Conference Center B
   PowerPoint presentation no. 1
Career Enhancement Strategy
 Mary-Ray's pink ice service trembles
   In the aftershock of some astral seizure
     So remote and faint
       Only the weevil's foreleg dares say
         Yes, yes, yes, it's true
           Next up
Team Building Exercises
 Woof, woof
   Burgundy carpet, big yellow dots
     That new smell, glycol ethers
       4-phenylcyclohexane in the latex backing
Break: Free Coffee, Light Snacks, Get Acquainted
 Uh, pardon me, Miss Carnoustie
   Is that your panty line
     Or a silken esker of longing
       Have an hallucination, have a bagel
         We had an issue under discussion here
           Regarding the lighting, I believe
             That tenebrous strip beyond the chandelier's orb
               Hey, help me out here
                 Not now, Peg, I'm teething
                   Are we ready for the evening
Thought Shower
 Hold on, the jacaranda's gone missing
   Waiter, some more Vitamin Water, and hurry
     Wow, here comes
       Thirty-six thousand blasts of ink per second
         In four, count 'em, four brilliant colors
           And with no telltale digital trace
             I see a hand up
               Mr. Gomez, are we still on the same page?

PSSSD, or: No Theme Song for You

Typepad has been driving me nuts for a week. It's eating posts, not posting posts, not reloading posts, not updating updates, screwing up youtubes, fucking up generally. Maybe it's coding I did wrong - if typepad offered everything so idiots didn't have to code, that'd be smart, yes? - but whatever, it throughly ate the Theme Song post from yesterday. Just fucking ate it.

Jeebus, it's as bad as blooger, but at least blooger is free.

Anyway, the jist of that post:

Habermas on the Clusterfuck:

Since 1989-90 it has become impossible to break out of the universe of capitalism; the only option is to civilize and tame the capitalist dynamic from within.

While I enjoy being accused in a good screed as much as anyone, (Out of Your Trance, Assholes), out of my trance where?

Still, reading Habermas dumb it down for fucks like me is more insightful than humiliating if I take my stupid humbly. I could point out that while he describes the problem better than I do and hides his inability to solve the problem far more eloquently than I do, he's saying what I've been saying, but I won't.

Thanksgiving

Elric writes from Mumbai:

The Hotel that we stayed in in Mumbai has just been taken over by some goons and they are lining up and shooting all Americans and Brits.  The Bar/Restaurant that we usually hung out at (and probably would have been at last night if we were still there) got grenaded and shot up last night. Lots of dead - over 100 now.  There are people jumping out of the windows at the hotel to avoid being tortured and shot....

Either my timing is good, or my Ganesha pendant is working in my favor, but it is kind of weird to watch it all on TV.

Bless Ganesha.

UPDATE:

Elric - my brother, Bruce - corrects me in comments - make sure you read the whole long comment - that he wrote me from Chennai.

Sand

2666 Progress Report: I've finished the first section, The Part About the Critics, and I'm positive any brain-gymnastics attempting to interpret the buzz would not only be pointless but would destroy the buzz. I'm being set up, and I'm going to enjoy it.

Blegmeh! I'm reading, writing, shittily, happily.

A new biography of John Lennon passed by my desk this week, reminding me of a novel I started to write but stopped ten or so years ago when faced with the research that would be required. (And before I acknowledged to myself my brain is poet-wired, not novelist-wired.) In the novel I was given an opportunity to go back in time and murder anyone I chose and replace him in his life with my knowledge of his life I brought from the future. The Fab Four: Jeff, Paul, George, and Ringo!

See, after I murder John, when I first meet Mick Jagger, I....

What? Max Boot approves of Obama's national security personnel choices?

Blegmeh: the minute I think I'm out they drag me back in.

UPDATE! LIVE PUPPY-CAM!

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• Yes, but no, as yes will get a new meme.
• No, but yes, as no always gets a new meme.
• Zizek on Obama and joy in pragmatism.
• Have some U.S. history.
• The word you're looking for is....
• Sarah Palin for Poet Laureate.
• Holy Goodhell, listen to this.
• Listen to this too.
• Thought about Victoria Williams lately?
• Don't forget Largehearted Boy.
• Did you know James had a jazz blog?

Updates later. Or not.

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My head, your head:

Since This Will Be the Slowest Week of the Year in Blogstown.... More Metableh on Shetty Blegging

Up and down the blogroll entropy and apathy (which is a disease), the post-election exhaustion combined with a reengaged awareness of powerlessness, not only now but at the embarrassing self-realization of over-exuberant powerlessness at the height of over-stimulated pre-election wankerdom.

The prospect of blogging the next four years, alternatively damning Obama and defending Obama, is as attractive as watching a November NBA game between Oklahoma City and Charlotte while in the waiting room of a Just Tires while assclowns fuck-up your car's fucked-up alignment. This hasn't occurred to you?

All of which to say, if I get more self-indulgent - BLCKDGRD exists to amuse me and mine, yo - I will claim it's to answer my need for self-indulgence, which is another word for complicity.

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• Author's life is immaterial. Author's life is material. Either you think either/ors are especially silly when considering novelists and their novels or you don't.
• Crow-eating done right.
• So what, but six of ten are on my blogroll.
• Don't forget Destination: Out and counterstream.
• Animal Collective's new album is called Merriwether Post Pavilion? (I do know they're from Baltimore, yo.)
• This? is a playlist.
• Nine days to Zappadan. I'm not a Zappadani myself (I'm not anti-Zappadani), though this guy is. He's wondering about his blog's direction. (And Paleo Jay Dirty 101 Old Arra Bastard, my friend Hamster admires your bass boat!)

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Speaking of shetty meta-blegging, comments have changed via typepad upgrade. You enter your name at the bottom of the comment instead of the top, and you don't have to negotiate anti-spamming puzzles, plus you're assigned a random avatar. Oh well.

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My head, your head:

Know what? This too:

Did You Know Washington DC Has a Professional Soccer Team?

Goff has the protected and the unprotected:

Marc Burch, Luciano Emilio, Fred, Ivan Guerrero, Greg Janicki, Thabiso Khumalo, Devon McTavish, Jaime Moreno, Bryan Namoff, Santino Quaranta, Clyde Simms

Which leaves the following players available for selection by Seattle in Wednesday's expansion draft: Crayton, Martinez, Peralta, Vide, Gallardo, Doe, J. Carroll, P. Carroll, Cordeiro, Dyachenko, Kirk, Koroma, Mediate, Miller, Olsen, Thompson, Thorpe, Wells, Zaher.

Niell, Carvallo, Martinez, Peralta, Gallardo or Greg Janicki and Boyzz Khumalo?

Not gonna rehash it again, just saying: Next season is on Kevin Payne and Dave Kasper. I give them credit for decency by not scapegoating Soehn, and if the three want to flourish or perish together, Lord Etcheverry bless, but Greg Janicki and Boyzz Khulamo, Greg Janicki and Boyzz Khumalo.

Goff adds

D.C. United did not pick up the contract options on Quavas Kirk, Gonzalo Martinez, Gonzalo Peralta and Rod Dyachenko. The club seems likely to renegotiate with Peralta and perhaps Kirk at a lower salary, but I would be shocked if Martinez or Dyachenko returns.

I should add, while I can't argue with any of the decisions of who to or not protect, it's damning that there's no controversy like last year's Clyde Simms v (MLS Cup winning) Brian Carroll. That was a significant and difficult decision (and I thought, think, they made the right choice), and you knew whichever wasn't protected was going to be picked. Vide v Janicki doesn't weigh by comparison, and since Seattle only gets ten picks, I'm betting none picked are United.

Here's Goff (praise Goff) with list of notable names unprotected plus a link to ALL unprotected.

Ante Razov, Claudio Suarez, Carey Talley, C.J. Brown, Andy Herron, Brandon Prideaux, Jose Burciaga, Terry Cooke, Facundo Erpen, Mike Petke, Brad Evans, Eddie Gaven, Pat Noonan, Duilio Davino, Wade Barrett, Nate Jaqua, Richard Mulrooney, Pat Onstad, Craig Waibel, Kevin Hartman, Peter Vagenas, Khano Smith, Wells Thompson, John Wolyniec, Dema Kovalenko, Clint Mathis, Nathan Sturgis, Andy Williams, Ned Grabavoy, Carlos Ruiz and Greg Sutton.

New players for 2009?

Dema Kovalenko?

Wade Barrett?

Oy. After the 2007 season I was jonesing for 2008 by Thanksgiving. Right now for next year? Oy.

UPDATE!

Seattle agrees: United players suck!

Since This Will Be the Slowest Week of the Year in Blogstown....

New links below.

You know, it might be this Ellis. Be curious - not mysterious - but curious I found him twice quite accidentally. If there are accidents.

Reminding me again to think about my blogroll policies - this Ellis quit, so I, ahem, and shouldn't or should what, create a memorial of still honored but dead links? - and then reminding me not to give too much a fuck.

Anyway, I'm going to do some purging of places I no longer visit and hopefully be adding some new stuff to keep me entertained - BLCKDGRD does exist solely for me and mine - and I might do some rearranging, though Ba'al, I hope I haven't the energy. Do check out the New Toys - new links have appeared recently.

And as long as I'm metablogging, now that I figured out how to css a border around uploaded photos, check out Ask Fleabus - it's amazing how much better Planet's amazing photos look with the border.

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New linkages, added Monday afternoon. Read them while they're fresh!

• And buttplugs! Buttplugs too!
• Excellent reminder of what you know.
  
• Two votes for Lizard People.
• Hey, Mocos, Track Twenty-Nine.
  
• Thanksgiving appreciation.
• Friday Hope Blogging.
• Praise The Smothers Brothers.
• Sweetness, listen to this guy.
• Holyfuck, dance. (Holyfuck, her voice sounds Kate Bush's)
• Jeebus, when was the last time you heard this?

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Maryland wore black on black at home, encouraging fans to wear black for a Blackout. When your colors are red and white and you wear black on black and encourage fans to wear black for a Blackout, you deserve! to have your asses kicked.

Teams that always wear black on black at home will be similarly loathed when they don't wear black on black at home.

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• Billy Joel in flame war w/Ed. MUST !! READING !!. I've talked about my first influential English teacher, David Sampselle, at the high school in the town below, whose one truly inane moment was trying to teach 10th graders poetry using the lyrics of Billy Joel's Piano Man and America's Tin Man. I cut class in protest.
• One of my favorite critics, Steven Moore (who turned me on to Harington, and has written smartly about Elkin) reviews 2666. (I'm 120 pages in, and AWOO! it's gaining relentless momentum.)
• Atwood's non-fiction about The Clusterfuck. Earthgirl just finished Oryx and Crake and tells me that's what I'm reading next because she wants to talk about it.

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The town I grew up in is the best place in Moco to raise your kids according to Business Week?

Gaithersburg, a former farming town at the terminus of the D.C. Metro's Red Line, is a diverse, affordable place with a shopping district called "Old Towne" that dates back to the 19th century.

Former farming town? Brinda Fanton dumped me in 10th grade because her friends from Rockville teased her for dating a potato farmer. And that's "Olde Towne," annoyingly.

Would that be this Olde Towne:

On 11/18/08 at 3:24 pm the victim was walking in the 400 block of East Diamond Avenue when the suspects approached from the rear. They stole a PSP and fled on foot. Investigation to continue.

That's downtown Olde Towne's Main Street, 3:24 in the middle of a Tuesday afternoon.

My folks still live in Olde Towne, not oldfartfully old Olde Towne but just as well, and I worry  about them.

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Shame I didn't know I'd be writing about Gaithersburg this weekend when I posted Go-Betweens "Streets of Your Town" last week. Have more Go-Betweens:

Blorderblurs

I am chastised by one of three people on the planet whose chastisement I unconditionally accept as valid:

I don't think Mannion's dark. I think he's spot freakin' on. Detroit is a double for them, in ways Katrina wasn't; they didn't get to ass-ram the unions when they abandoned New Orleans. These fuckers desperately want it to be the 19th century, and walking away from Detroit while serving up gravy to bankers with ladles made from human skin is exactly up their alley.

The real question here is, given an opportunity of this magnitude, why aren't you dark enough?

The first point is this: shame he doesn't blog.

Here's the Mannion post, in full, that I linked to that Landru references:

I'm sure union-busting is a big part of the Congressional Republicans' hostility to a bail-out of the autoindustry.  And some of it is just a general "Not my constituents, so what do I care?" assholery.  And some of---ok, a lot of it---is the reflexive Screw you for not being rich of their tribe.  And there might even be a few who are motivated by honest Free Market conservative principles.

But I can't help thinking that in their hearts a lot of them are looking at the possibility of tens of thousands of people in Michigan losing their jobs and then their homes and seeing the opportunity to do to Detroit what Katrina allowed them to try to do to New Orleans, empty the city of Democrats.

Jokes going to be on them when a million other people around the country, many of them Republicans, many of them their own constituents, lose their jobs along with the UAW workers.

Clearly, my mwhahahappiness at pigheads exploding

has been overindulgent. Time to start angry screaming again, especially considering its inefficacy is as awesome as my overindulgent mwhahahappiness.

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• Your headline of the day, but especially if you're gburgmofo.
• When did Digby become dumb-cousin slow?
• According to this carnival-ride, I'm a mechanic.
• A plug for Gates from Horton.
• Irrelevant, lying, sack of shit.
• Progressives ride the war machine.
• Conservatives and bears.
• The word you're looking for is.....
• The Constitution Strikes Back, or: what kind of geek uses Star Trek allusions?

Oh.

• Mr Fish.
• The bay is dying, and.... More.
• Things that fascinate me.
• New Lucksmiths. Listen to some.
• Billy Joel: "Fuck You" -  hAh!
• Listen to some Mason Proper.
• Band's name is Fucked Up. Listen.
• Gena and the Three-Cock Pile-up is a good band name (I also like Jefferson Slaveship, but I'm old).
• James Wood reviewed again, acutely.
• I am so there.

Updates are highly unlikely, but you never know.

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Dream pop? Fever-dream pop:

To Earthgirl's distress, I found my Dead Can Dance box set the other night and it's in my car. hEh.

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UPDATE!

I'm told:

Although as Whispers (who hangs with me and Sasha and Ilse but doesn't so much get you, and that's okay) would tell us, it's not gonna be a proof.

Whispers? Kananga's fat henchman in Live and Let Die?

Awesome!

I'm sure union-busting is a big part of the Congressional Republicans' hostility to a bail-out of the autoindustry.  And some of it is just a general "Not my constituents, so what do I care?" assholery.  And some of---ok, a lot of it---is the reflexive Screw you for not being rich of their tribe.  And there might even be a few who are motivated by honest Free Market conservative principles.

But I can't help thinking that in their hearts a lot of them are looking at the possibility of tens of thousands of people in Michigan losing their jobs and then their homes and seeing the opportunity to do to Detroit what Katrina allowed them to try to do to New Orleans, empty the city of Democrats.

Jokes going to be on them when a million other people around the country, many of them Republicans, many of them their own constituents, lose their jobs along with the UAW workers.

Obamadominance: Once More And Then I'll Drop It Until Next Time

Yesterday on ATC speculation on the sudden sloppiness of Obamacamp, renowned for discipline, suddenly leaking in crippling ways, and to be honest, such obamawe I have for his superior games-playing skills, I assumed the leaks were deliberate and the task wasn't to ask why the leaks but what the leaks signified.

But what if this is a stumble? Obama stumbled in the primaries and stumbled in the general election campaign, adjusted to new circumstances, learned the old rules, wrote a few new rules, kicked ass. I'm still awaiting my pints.

He's a scary motherfucker, yes, the best gamesplayer of this generation. He's betting that he's better than you at what you're best at, and I'm not betting again him.

I won't be happy with the brutally efficient corporatist empire he builds (though I'll live happily and relatively guilt free it in, sacrificing none of my comforts in protest of American narco-policy in Colombia), but I'll be fascinated watching him get there.

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• All advancement starts with giving fools tools, seeing which fools aren't fools and promoting them to tools who then develop new tools to test the next batch of fools.
• I thought I was dark.
• Rapture Index?
• More Libertarian slam-dancing.
• Baconnaise! (h/t Fritz)
• Girded loins and first sentences.
• No one could have guessed a Dream Pop junkie like me would like this band. Lots.
• More pictures of Paradise.

More links later. Probably. Maybe not.

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My head, your head, one of my five from last year (and most beautiful video of that year):

Rubeeburrubeebur!

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• HRC as SOS? That bitch. That bitch.
• HRC as SOS? That bitch. That bitch.
• HRC as SOS? That bitch. That bitch.
• HRC as SOS? That bitch. That bitch.
• HRC as SOS hyperventilation. That bitch. That bitch.

Jeebus, either Obama puts a bullet in the back of her skull NOW! or he's the shittiest not-president-yet EVAH!

Please rubes, rerube yourself: less shitty doesn't mean things get better, it means things stop getting shittier at the current rate of increasing shittiness.

What, Obama is surrounding himself with people who will help him consolidate his power and ensure his re-election as the most powerful human on the planet? That bastard. That bastard.

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• Opostasy: The Greatest Disappointments Are Coming.
• Holder gets greenwaldian hug. Counterpoint.
• Still bitter, still clinging, still beaten.
• Scandal as growth industry.
• Kathleen Parker: death-wish or cynical swivel?
• Asshatery.
• al-Q gets talking points from Limbaugh.
• On hunters.
• Is the 3-5-2 dead?
• Presentmas?
• I've never watched an episode, not because of anything other than I haven't. I have watched CI, and not just because I used to be friends with Eric Bogosian's nephew, who was at Earthgirl and my wedding. Hello, David?
• Novels are dying because authors quit using quotation marks? Uh, no.
• Slovenian Poetry?
• Paperback v Digital. Am I soulless to consider a kindle (down in comments)?
• dBs?
• Blip?

Updates later. Or not.

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Pwoggle Mourning Song!

Heh, while I'm here, let Pete Shelley diagnose the problem with progressive rubes like me: