BLCKDGRD

Why I'm a Rube

This makes me happy:

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I've started x-number of notes attempting Om accepting that the shittiest and piggiest Republicans, for the shittiest and piggiest Republican reasons, successfully blocked a bill I oppose, but a corporate Democrat calling Republicans pussies? wOOt!

And corporate Democrats: Watch Rahm Emanuel behind Frank. Think he's happy Frank's calling pussy on Republicans?

Dick Armey's Barney Fag! rising to the wOOt!bait? wOOt!

It hasn't even started to get weird yet.

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• Sure, surprise me.
• May I suggest not dancing on graves yet.
• Don't pity the fool.
• Don't pity the fool.
  
• Don't pity the fool.
• Don't pity the fool.
  

  

• Don't pity the fool.
• Don't pity the fool.
• Don't pity the fool.
• Shadow of the Pitchfork.

Updates later. Or not.

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TV on the Radio, one of my favorites, has new music.

There's new Lindsay Buckingham too.

You heard me. Lindsay Buckingham.

Dallas 3, United 0

Click on that picture over right and enlarge and you will see, in my notes, witnessed as signed by Planet,  that in the 74th minute I predicted a tired and dirty United would take a red. I didn't predict it would be the team captain right in front of the ref.

So Quaranta hurt*, Emilio hurt, Jaime out next Saturday, Guerrero off to Honduras for WCQs in a couple of weeks plus and plus and plus....

It's hard to imagine this game isn't the season's nadir, but shitty, uninspired, disgraceful performances? Sheeit....

Eight games, four MLS, four Champions League, long angry winter.

*My mistake. Quaranta was benched, not injured.

Here's Stollar, Fullback, Lifton, Shatz.

Sleeps With Fishes

People are impatient for Obama to garotte McCain while Elric 7 reminds us ain't no Crakerstani gonna vote for no nigger, yo, so I ask, if

• Obama needs avoiding inflaming congenital Crackerstani ooga-booganism and
• John McCain is that crazy batchelor great uncle with a gambling problem who becomes more publicly embarrassing as he gets older and angrier
• why should Obama get overly aggressive since, out of McCain and Palin and Biden, he's the only one looking presidential plus
• the meme that Uncle Crazy would rip out his wife's jugular with his teeth on The View if he thought it'd get him elected is spreading like a stomach virus through kindergarten plus
• Sarah Palin, whom even Crackerstani columnists are calling on to quit?

Obamagasm?

Frack no, not in fracking Crackerstan, a country where 33% of Crackerstanis will vote for Sarah Palin because she's got an imaginary friend named Jesus and 40% won't vote for Obama because of ooga-booganism, but other than Paleold Dirtyjay Bastardarra, no one has taken my pint bet that Obama won't win (provided he survives).

He's winning, an African-American with an ooga-booga name, and things haven't even started to get weird yet.

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• The most important, and funniest, thing you''ll read today.
• Actually, this is the most important, but it's a buzzkill.
• Bearz on the debate.
• Sfunny how the words "Supreme Court" never got mentioned in Friday's debate vis a vis $700B, but not as sfunny torture got mentioned once and Guantanamo once, neither connected to Supreme Court.
• Something worth considering. (h/t RC)

Updates later. Or not.

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Fracking typepad has bugged up youtubes again, without the help of Dema Kovalenko, so the above garotte-ing of Luca Brasi plus Root Boy Slim's "Hey Mr President" I'd have shown you, go click the links.

Fleabus, Look Me In the Eye!

Even after diminishing my expectations that Sarah Palin's partner would turn beet red and physically attack Obama with his pen, how anticlimactic was the anticlimax?

Which means Obama won. Rube that I am, I damn Obama for not goading Sarah Palin's partner into the raving and lunatic explosion of anger and - I'm serious - psychopathic sense of entitlement and all-consuming desire to be president Sarah Palin's partner clearly was squelching. That would have been awesome! I wanted to be entertained, dammit.

Obama doesn't need to campaign for my vote, and if you're reading this shitty bleg he isn't worried about yours either. Here's what he needed to do last night: not fuck up. Victory.

Sarah Palin's partner is hair-triggered tighter than Rick Davis' nutsack. Patience, rubes: the kaboom is coming.

I will say this about Obama: For a guy who wants to assure the world that his foreign policy would be less reflexively militaristic than a Palin/McCain administration, Obama sure seems hot to attack Pakistan, yes?

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• Higher monkey, lower monkey?
• Notes from an imperial microcosm.
• Meanwhile, in Pakistan....
• Sexy Puritan, or, Piglust.
• Don't see plants growing out of toilets.
• Game theory.
• As the deal turns!
• Eine Kleine wolfangst von blogst.
• Henry Laundering.

Updates later. Or not.

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And I have no idea why this appeared in a dream last night, but BWOCK! be in your head too:

Sixty-Three Today

Fleabus, Joe Lieberman Lectured Me Yesterday on McCain's Nobility!

Nobility? Nobility is Obama bum-rushing a crappy bailout plan so McCain's ignoble ploy to claim nobility is thwarted, snap!

Signing a ignoble bill sooner that will inevitably be signed anyway, if it prevents cancellation of next week's Palinpalooza, is .06% less shitty than permitting the ignoble cancellation of Palinpalooza.

Om in a clusterfuck, mofos, Om in a clusterfuck. Even when Obama gets pwnd, Om.

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• Lefty political satirist who's lived a life of fiscal calamity on the bailout.
• McCain gambit explained succintly.
• Underestimating Palin's shittiness.
• I admit my daily Froomkin consumption dropped in proportion to W's dropping significance, but he's still worth reading, especially when expertly documenting the obvious that needs documenting.
• Elric 7 warns of Earth Farts.
• Swift says suspend the election.
• News of Bush admin sanctioning of torture reduced to bullet point on NYT webpage!
• IOZ dropped acid w/Alexander Hamilton!
• Scott's Anti-Intellectual Presidency.
• Moco Dems against slots.
• Laura Ryding, part 3.
• Wyatt Mason screams AAAAH over Gaddis. In a good way.

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In my head. Be in yours.

Marathon 2, United 0

What is there new to say? Suspend the Dallas game until taxpayers bailout United for the $1.9M tossed down the gaping hole called Gallardo?

Those early round USOC games in Germantown the years United is taking that tournament seriously when the Wilmingtons and Pittsburghs play hard, keep the game close, but eventually wear down to United's superior physical talent and lose respectably 2-0? Marathon/Saprissa is to United as United is to Pittsburgh.

Season of Blah. What will redeem this season is if lessons are learned for next. An MLS team could buy five pretty good MLS players w/$400K against the salary cap, maybe some defenders and a ball-distributing midfielder and a withdrawn striker, yes?

What? The $400K against the salary cap next year is already spent? Uh-oh.

Goff player ratings:

Crayton 7; Thompson 5, Namoff 4, Burch 4, Martinez 3; Fred 5, Simms 4, Dyachenko 5, Guerrero 5, Khumalo 5; Emilio 5. Subs: Peralta 5, Cordeiro 5, Kirk 5.

Honestly, praise. They're trying to make their little legs go faster, but they're cooked, baked, broiled, toasted, BBQed, burnt.

And on a personal note, I'd like to feed Christian Miles into a wood-chipper as he screams in agony, DEE-achenko! DEE-achenko!

Updates, edits, links, later. Or not.

Ask Fleabus!

By the tears of St Rubia Rubitina of the Grottoes of Mount Rube in rubiest Rubesylvania, isn't it fuckity-fuck time I started enjoying CLUSTERFUCK: The Clusterfuck! more gleeclusterfuckfully?

UPDATE: rUBewOOt!

Current, as of 3:45 PM EDT 9/24/08, the headline @ NYT:

McCain Seeks to Delay

First Debate

Oopsy, as of 3:47 it's already been qualified:

McCain Seeks to Delay

First Debate Amid

Financial Crisis

Terrific, another chance for Obama to prove he's not running to be my president by not calling McCain a pussy. rUBewOOt!

Adding: if Obama allows this stunt to stop obamamentum this time, next time Obama pulls ahead, when McCain clutches his chest and drops dead of a heart attack in a clear and cynical political stunt, it'll be too late for Obama to call bullshit when Dead McCain wins.

UPDATE:

McCain's already dead. I double bet a pint that Robert Gates is one of two Republican Rescue Daddies on the ticket in November, complete with an October shooting war of such  O! MY! FUCK! dimensions that only an already in-place DOD daddy can save us!

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• Snark of the Day!
• Snark of the Day!
• Grow up. Be adults.
• War without end, Amen.
• Savage Tools.
  
• Mirror, Mirror used again as political metaphor.
• Six questions for James Galbraith on the bailout.
  
• Photoshop of the Day!
• I confess this band never did anything for me, though I recognize they did for others.
• Another Roth review.
  
• New Ashbery! New Ashbery!
• Podcast: Mendelson on Frank O'Hara!
• Podcast: Mendelson reads Frank O'Hara!

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In my head. Be in yours.

Don't worry. It's just a song.

Crappy Day, Shitty Mood

Have a song.

Stuff later. Or not.

Boots, Bitches, Boots

Max Boot is top foreign policy advisor to Palin/McCain?

Awesome! Enemies beware!

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Meet the enemy.

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h/t Chapati Mystery.

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• Billmon is necessary reading. So's Seymour.
• Roy's not a libertarian and neither are you.
• Henley defends, of sorts, libertarianism.
• But... stop appealing to white trash, I'll stop calling you white trash.
• Hahahahaha.
• Funniest blog post Greenwald's ever read.
• Why isn't Obamacamp pounding this?
• Why isn't Obamacamp relentlessly mocking this?
• No, you're not crazy.
• Limbaugh: Arabs worse than niggers? UPDATE! Exactly.
• Progressive report card for Maryland.
• I think I want to read this.
• Mason Wyatt reviews Michiko Kakutani reviewing the new Philip Roth.
• Another on Roth, which says what I said about Roth's bullying in a way I hadn't thought of.
• 50 greatest villains in literature?
• More Wood.
• I would have paid to see this.
• Fall Music preview, with cuts.
  
• Gin Blossoms play Gaithersburg?
• Shoot me now. Boots, bitches, boots.

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I need a favorite song.