BLCKDGRD

Javolt!

Riding the subway to the conference, I pick up a Washington Examiner at Medical Center stop, open at random and see:

A D.C. United player was seen Tuesday inside RFK Stadium wearing a team jersey bearing a Volkswagen logo, which could mean the club is nearing completion of a major sponsorship deal with the German auto manufacturer.

Which has been assumed, yes?

And, two days after I wrote this:

Dyachenko has the best first touch on the team. He can pull a ball out of the air with a deftness that's beautiful. I can see what United sees in him. It's what he does with the ball once it's at his feet that's the issue, but last night was very encouraging. If he can play behind Gallardo, one of the back two on the pentagon, he might yet prove valuable.

another Examiner article says this: 

Rod Dyachenko has always done what he’s been asked, even if he hasn’t been successful. After last weekend, it appears what he was being asked might’ve been the problem...

But against Real Salt Lake, Dyachenko was inserted into the central midfield and given the opportunity to display his two-way game. He made an immediate impact, using his 6-foot-1, 185-pound frame to win balls aerially and in tight spaces and his nimble feet to create attacking chances, including a secondary assist on United’s third goal...

Dyachenko enjoys playing more defensive soccer — working in tandem with Simms behind Gallardo — but his presence gives an added offensive dimension to United’s three-man central midfield triangle.

Remember:

And for better or worse, so much depends upon Rod Dyachenko graced with plain talent besides the slight pickings rides on Rod Dyachenko's performance, if for no other reason, who else do they have? 

C'mon people.

Ask Fleabus!

Fleabus, will you ever break kayfabe?

.

.

Best. Cat. Ever.

Obamapromise, obamapremise, obsolete

I call on Obama to make a second! race speech in wake of Jeremiah Wright's latest outrageous statements! Obviously Obama's first race speech, lauded as one of the most important speeches in American history, is now obsolete.

Obama's sausage. He's sausage if he embraces Wright, he's sausager if he denounces Wright, he's sausagest if he dances between the two. Clusterfucked!

Obamapromise was obamapremised on Americans wanting to transcend standard clusterfucking and Obama's ability to ride above the clusterfuck.

Americans won't or can't. Obama won't or can't. Who's responsible in what percentage will be viciously debated forever, but regardless, obamapromise is obsolete.

Clorg - and Clorg is going to be the nominee, watch - called clusterfuck on the anti-clusterfucker and the anti-clusterfucker clusterfucked. Clorg called anti-transcendence on the transcender, and the transcender proved ordinary. No waah-excuses.

Obama modeled himself the transcender. Transcend.

   *

• While Dionne blames Wright for returning this year's election to clusterfuckery, both the Post's Colby King and the Times' Bob Herbert bash Jeremiah Wright for narcissistic showmanship. So does Walsh, who claims Wright's deliberately sabotaging Obama. And advice given.
• Pony plans.
• I confess, I haven't put the energy into thinking about slots that I should. My first gut reaction is, if a Marylander is going to dump $200 a night into a machine, better Maryland get the cut than West Virginia.
• Food crisis.
• Hook, line, sinker.
• If you change your sex, are you still married?
• Bethesda corpwhores battle over whoreturf.

   *

UPDATE:

Jeebus, is this for real?

Yet it is Sen. Clinton who now has the greater ability to ease racial tensions within her party. Arguably, she also has the greater need to do so, for her long-term standing.

Simply stated, her camp is the one now being accused of, or at least implicated in, using the race card. The most recent assertions came in the form of comments last week by Rep. James Clyburn, a black Democrat from South Carolina, who accused Sen. Clinton and, more pointedly, former President Clinton, of damaging the Democratic Party by using race to political advantage.

Well, that's from an opinion piece in WSJ and can be dismissed as giggle, but this from Overlord Drum in response?

Hillary Clinton could go a long way toward easing the tension that's threatening to open a very deep breach within the Democratic Party. And she should. It wouldn't be easy: she's not a naturally gifted speaker, as Obama and Bill Clinton are, and every word she said would be scrutinized for double meaning and disingenuousness. Still, why shouldn't the white candidate talk about this too? Defend Wright where he's defensible and criticize him where he isn't. Repudiate the ugliness that's overtaken the campaign — much of it her own doing — and say plainly that it's unfair to keep pretending that Obama bears responsibility for another person's words. Take the press to task for focusing on trivia, and the public as well for holding a black preacher to a different standard than white ones like John Hagee, whose comments have been every bit as incendiary as anything Wright has said. Talk as honestly about race from a white perspective as Obama did last month from a black perspective.

I'm very sorry I clawed back into the race helped in part by my repeatedly questioning Obama's association with Reverend Wright and Reverend Farrakhan, and if I plainly insinuated that Obama bears responsibility for another person's words when it looked like I was toast, now that I'm going to be the nominee let me plainly say that it's totally unfair to keep pretending Obama bears responsibility for other person's words.

And, Overlord Drum, please stop with the Hagee comments are as incendiary as anything Wright said. They may be as stupid, or stupider, and less "Christian," but if they were as incendiary there'd be a fire around McCain, and there isn't.

Saying god destroyed New Orleans because of faggotry OK, calling attacks on American empire comeuppance for sins of imperialism not.

This is hard?

   *

• Neoliberalism in the union hall, or, who is they?
• A truth about Jeremiah Wright, and whether meant to be profound or not, it catches many angles.
• Democratic primary equations explained.
• See, I don't think it's a test for Obama as much as it is for Americans, but I do think it's a test for Obama to call it a test for Americans.
• War crime questions.
• Repudiation just in.

   *

Maybe Obama is playing wussy like a fox, but that's clusterfuck strategy, and he can't beat the Clorg in a game of clusterfuck.

Unless he can, in which case he repudiates both obamapromise and obamapremise. Which I never believed in except as bulwark against Clorg restoration. Which I never believed in except as lesser of two clusterfucks.

Aargh the Full

I'm forced to attend a conference, the 16th Annual IUG, here at the Omni Sheraton near the zoo, and I'm reminded of McLemee's post asking what to call a collection of librarians, and while I stand by my suggestion then, a bitter of librarians, I now offer a pasty, a pompous, and a comb-over of librarians.

And the freaking Omni Sheraton doesn't believe in wall sockets.

UPDATE!

A waddle of librarians.

   *

• Make them make them make them make them.
• Democracy staggers on.
• The wages of wank.
• Heh. Indeed.
• It is surprising how little notice this got. Kidding.
• Torture election. Except not that way.
• I was yammering about this a year ago.
• Sven Birkerts and the Frightening Fitzroya. (One of the sessions I'm forced to attend is on copyright, which is related to this by this: Fight all you want, senescent overlords. You've lost.)

UPDATES

• That Bill Clinton is running for president is obvious. A question is, Obama sure banished Michelle to Shutup City, yes?
• This is quite breathtaking in its depth and breadth of cynicism.
• Party of the damned. The Damned?
• Updike reviews a novel, which I post only because two days ago, looking for a book, I came across Rabbit, Run, which has for me the single most harrowing scene in all fiction I've read, when Janet drunkenly drowns her infant daughter. I read it again. Jeebus.
• From grave, Nabokov tells son to publish unfinished novel.
• Crisis in reading?
• 50 Cult Novels (h/t Fellowjeff). No Deptford Trilogy?
• Mocomofo Fair Grounds up for sale? I may have said this before, but going to the fair hasn't been the same since the city destroyed Hobo City behind the Southern States. Ask this guy.

   *

Hey, my conference package got me a thermal handbag good for cold and hot food, a mini-flashlight, and a desk clock with not one, but two! slots for photos, plus this bitching pen!

.....

wOOt!

United 4, Salt Lake 1

.....

Better. I'm not sold.

I was enjoying a good fume at halftime, having watched United stumble about pointing and grimacing and shrugging and shouting at each other for being out of position or not delivering the ball or delivering the ball poorly. United didn't look like it knew what it wanted to do and couldn't have done what it wanted if it did.

The second half was better, kick-started with a soft penalty - imagine the howls had the same call been made on a United defender - and the final two goals were beautiful but against a team that sagged once Morales' free kick hit the post.

Meaning, all applause for avoiding the horrific, but little credit for beating a team United should have knocked out in the first twenty minutes. All applause for avoiding the crisis another embarrassing home loss would have created, but nothing I saw assures me the crisis has been averted rather than just delayed. Hope, but.

Here's Goff's player ratings:

Wells 5; Namoff 7, Peralta 7, Martinez 7; Quaranta 8, Stratford 4, Simms 6, Fred 5, Gallardo 8; Moreno 8, Emilio 5. Subs: Burch 7, Dyachenko 6, Kirk 5.

Width! and Burch and Quaranta are better on the wings than Fred and McTavish. Both goals in play came from outside in, and neither would have happened if Fred was on the left. This is not a declaration of Fred-hate, just a fact: he can't cross from the left. But before getting excited about United's new width, remember RSL was jamming the middle because United had lacked width. Let's see what happens when teams scout and prepare accordingly, if in fact this is new found width.

UPDATE: 

Remember, Quaranta and Burch were on the wings because McTavish didn't dress and Fred went out injured, so before praising the wisdom of Tom Soehn, I'm guessing at least one of these and maybe both weren't his first choices for the respective positions.

And did you see Fred walk over to Talley and just KICK him in the shins to take that yellow?

Hah! I mean, boo!

Gallardo's goal was stunning. More importantly, he demanded the ball, he made runs with the ball, he tried to command the game, he played with the impetus a 10 should play.

UPDATE:

Pulling Stratford was the key move. Gallardo was much more effective, and had much more space, with Dyachenko on the field rather than Stratford. See Dyachenko, two paragraphs down. See Stratford three paragraphs down.

Martinez is terrific, absolutely terrific; he's the reason United can play a 3-5-2.

Dyachenko has the best first touch on the team. He can pull a ball out of the air with a deftness that's beautiful. I can see what United sees in him. It's what he does with the ball once it's at his feet that's the issue, but last night was very encouraging. If he can play behind Gallardo, one of the back two on the pentagon, he might yet prove valuable.

UPDATE:

And for better or worse, so much depends upon Rod Dyachenko graced with plain talent besides the slight pickings rides on Rod Dyachenko's performance, if for no other reason, who else do they have?

So, did you like Dan Stratford's Armada?

UPDATE! Kinney does this edition of DCenters debriefing.

   *

OH!

I know United management isn't reading this blog, but the stadium experience? The assclowns running the parking in Lot 4? All the ATM machines out-of-order? The assclowns in concession stands who don't know how to run cash registers?

I watched a little girl a row in front of me in tears because it took her father a half-an-hour to get her dinner and she was worried where he was (even though she was with the father's friends), and then the dinner her dad brought back was a piece of half-cooked gristly chicken and half-cooked greasy fries (even by last year's RFK concession standards). The dad and kid had seats via regulars who were out of town, and were excited to be at their first United game. They're not coming back.

WTF is the problem? Why the hell are you putting out a shittier product - stadium experience-wise - this season?

It's not just me. People throughout the section were bitching about it, people in lines were bitching about it, people with blue parking passes in the parking lot were bitching about it.

United, you have a problem. Fix it.

Fridaymusicfriday

Elbow's new one is an early candidate for best five of the year.

   *

• Voyager One.
• Wolf Parade.
• Destroyer. Destroyer. (Don't put Destroyer in the CD player after a late dinner with Earthgirl in Santa Cruz while driving back to the hotel in a torrential downpour on a poorly marked interstate crowded with 18-wheelers recklessly speeding past. Just saying.)
• Annuals.
• Rosebuds.
• Constantines.
• Martina Topley-Bird.
• Manu Chao (!!!!!!!!)
• Stream the new Billy Bragg?
• New!!!! Thalia Zedek  New!!!!
• Still the best single of the year so far. See a video of another Foals' song here.

   *

Embracing the Clusterfuck

As I slowly accept there will be no cathartic summer, I remember last November when angst was wrung from fear of the Clorg and the upcoming primary season deliberately rigged for its queen. If Clorg had clinched Super Tuesday as scheduled to clinch, we'd already have air-hammered nails into our brains rather than endure ten fucking months of Clorg versus Corpse. Bless Lord Clusterfuck.

And bless Lord Clusterfuck for proving again the scramble to exploit each clusterfuck generates at least two clusterfucks of equal or greater clusterfuckability. That I am slow to embrace the clusterfuck is on me.

   *

• The case for Obama dropping out. Snark. I think.
• Because they both suck.
• Boo-fucking-hoo. And a response.
• Jeebus fucking Cracker.
• World's shittiest human demonstrates why.
• Krugman offers obamacriticism.
• The answer is yes, but no.
• Cardin and Hoyer wobbliness.
• Why wasn't this already being done and within budget?
• Amusing that it's Fox reporting this.
• That Ubu you do.
• New Paul Weller coming.
• Buried in this article about the dumbest fucking guy on the planet is some good news about Hilltop.
• UPDATES
• Alex Ferguson should work for the Clorg.
• A view from Indiana.
• Playboys at the PX.
• They both suck? An attempt at refutation.
• Wanna bet county by county results in North Carolina? Cheat sheet!
• McCain in Selma as OJ returning to crime scene.
• Negative advertising keeps giving.
• Really stupid ideas: Hillary update.
• See, the problem is he needed to do this when he was winning.

   *

Identify the second guy from the right:

Beyond again taunting myself with how old I am, the fact I spent part of the late 70s following his band and the fact I spent three days in Santa Cruz a month ago makes me go whoa. But not as much as looking at Bobby. He's a little red rooster. Bwawk!

Obamapologia, or: Abandoning Gimmick is Admitting Gimmick Gimmick

Last night on News Hour Democratic elder and super-delegate David Bonier re-endorsed Obama but complained of Obama's sudden and mysterious lack of passion.

The issue isn't what's being done to Obama, the issue is what's being done by Obama. He broke kayfabe: his swerve is now just gimmick.

I break no kayfabe proclaiming my congenital rubiness for spiritual markdom, and Obama no longer amuses me. That's on me.

   *

• Diminishing obamaspell doesn't mean diminishing hillaryhate, btw.
• Just in time, Terry McCauliffe reminds me of my fear of the Clorg. Lanny Davis too. BTW, when considering sycophants like McCauliffe and Davis, beyond whatever influence they think they might have if there's another Clinton administration, think how much potential money there is for both from Fox to get them to turn Dick Morris on another Clinton administration.
• Speaking of the Clorg, would it surprise you to discover empirical research discovers the Clorg's big state bullshit is bullshit?
• Pastor Gerson says McCain shit-fits are moral because, well, just because. He doesn't even try, the Pastor.
• Remember I asked why this past Monday? Because of this yesterday.
• A favorite poet has a new book.
• Vengeance is ours. 

   *

• UPDATES
• The most important post you'll view this month.
• History lesson Pennsylvania 1980.
• Estimates..
• Prizewinners Revisited.
• Fuming.
• Democracy and myth.
• Say soccer or football?
• Time to vote for Top 100 Public Intellectuals. No dirty fucking bloggers allowed, though pied-Friedman will no doubt be included. And why this is bullshit - the contest, not the blog or the blogger.
• Fredneck lives! If it's not cows, it's sinkholes.

   *

Um, Thomas Cromwell?

He was then privately executed at the Tower on 28 July 1540. It is said that Henry VIII intentionally chose an inexperienced executioner -- the teenager made three attempts at chopping Cromwell's head before he succeeded. After execution his head was boiled and then set upon a spike on London Bridge—facing away from the City of London.

Excellent!

HOPE!

News! of one of my favorite novelists!

Hilary Mantel is writing a novel about Thomas Cromwell.

Found at the end of a review by Mantel of a biography of Jane Boleyn.

I promise to try not to use a sentence from her new novel that freaks will discover while googling for disturbing images.

Fair Enough

Let's see, what Pennsylvania county gave Hillary Clinton her biggest margin of victory?

.......

Look, if Obama loses the nomination that was his to win, that's on him, but three summers of pumping gas at my Uncle Steve's gas station in Republic thirty years ago taught me enough to know that many Fayette County residents weren't voting for the bitch, they were voting against the nigger.

Which doesn't absolve Obama for fucking up. Prevent defense is for losers. Backing into the playoffs is for losers.

That first debate question about gun-clinging and god-clinging? Should have been knocked out of the park, not ummed, ahhed, and mangled anew. Should have been this. Should have been the start of winning or losing bravely rather than losing now or losing later cowardly.

CLINTON INC's job was to reveal Obama as just another cynical politician. It's on Obama not just for letting them, but for aiding them through his calculated cowardice.