BLCKDGRD

pumpkinblood

Back in June I wrote a post about an encounter I had with a pumpkinheaded asswipe in a DC convenience store, including an Ian Dury answer to Russ Timmert's spitted question to my laughing at his fatuous asswipedness.

I watched the first hour of the Russ Timmert Show last night, with his guests, the candidates for the Democratic presidential nomination, each of whom he challenged to pledge that not one single Iranian would ever shoot a spitball from a hollowed bic pen during his/her term if elected.

Paul Waldman daydreams of the response he'd give Timmert:

I have a fantasy that at one of these moments, a candidate will say, "You know what, Tim, I'm not going to answer that question. This is serious business. And you, sir, are a disgrace. You have in front of you a group of accomplished, talented leaders, one of whom will in all likelihood be the next president of the United States. You can ask them whatever you want. And you choose to engage in this ridiculous gotcha game, thinking up inane questions you hope will trick us into saying something controversial or stupid. Your fondest hope is that the answer to your question will destroy someone's campaign. You're not a journalist, you're the worst kind of hack, someone whose efforts not only don't contribute to a better informed electorate, they make everyone dumber. So no, I'm not going to stand here and try to come up with the most politically safe Bible verse to cite. Is that the best you can do?"

Obama, you say that last night, you're twenty points ahead in the polls today.

The Dodd. Poor Man's all about The Dodd and his doddacity, but The Dodd wasn't doddacious enough to smack silly (or at least off equilibrium) the media's format for giving fucking Russ Timmert power just slightly less stupendous than the size of his fucking pumpkin head.

Kucinich, sort of addressed it, but conventional wisdom says he's a moron.

Ach, the lesson here is not that Russ Timmert is a preening  pumpkinheaded asswipe,- if an insufferably self-important black-hole with an ass the size of his ego can said to be able to physically "preen" - it's that he's courted and respected for his pumpkinheaded asswipery.

And then there's me, who sees this pumpkinheaded asswipe on a regular basis - once a month or two, and Mrs Alan Greenspan and Mr Kathleen Matthews and others - in the convenience store and various Starbucks in upper NW, and politely avert my eyes and politely don't point out to them the blood on their hands.

I tell myself it's common courtesy - I follow the rules - and then go and try to wipe the blood off mine.

Diplomacy by experts

Ace diplomat, Karen Hughes, announcing her retirement, demonstrates* her intimate relationship with Residentpay Ushbay:

*****

Charged with

taking on the tough job of changing unfavorable perceptions of the United States around the globe, particularly in the Arab world,

here is Hughes' last major initiative:

Hughes appointed baseball Hall of Famer Cal Ripken Jr. as an "American public diplomacy envoy" and dispatched him to China as part of what the State Department called an effort to "promote cross-cultural dialogue with international youth to increase understanding of America."

Gladly, lack of atlases is not the root cause for the continuing failure of that whole Utter and Complete World Domination, Bee-otches project, though it's reminder of how thoroughly Ushbayists can fuck up basic everything.

*Old jokes are the best jokes because of their resilient truth.

An Obvious chance to use a silly-ass star trek allusion

Norman Podhoretz demanded the obliteration of Iran on last night's News Hour. Take a gander at this proudly lunatic Fuckwit to the Elites:

Let me be the umpteenth gazillionth person who's made the observation that Norman Podhoretz is so insanely vain he bases his bed-wetting on imagining an Islamofascist him.

Ironic that the one thing Podhoretz gets correct is the very calculus that creates them both.

It's like Lazurus

except they're both insane at the thought of the other's existence.

obamafication?

******

                            Fun while it never was.

*

UPDATE: Though credit where credit's due.

Boston is beating the Colorado christers. the devil's belichick stomped christer gibbs' pigskins

Just where the hell is Jeebus?

It's 11:22 EDT Sunday 10/28/07, bottom of the eighth, 1-4, Red Sox, you insufferable Red Sox fans you.

How's that for a multi-conflicted god-taunt?

Jeebus.

UPDATE 11:33PM:

Two-run home run for Christers! making score 3-4. Praise be.

I'm going to sleep out of curiousity to see if there's a morning.

Just because democrats are craven and cowardly doesn't mean our president isn't a sociopathic asshole and our media elite complicitly moronic

Compare and contrast these lead paragraphs from two stories posted now on the front page of the Washington Post website:

On Sept. 6, 2006, President Bush announced that the CIA's overseas secret prisons had been temporarily emptied and 14 al-Qaeda leaders taken to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. But since then, there has been no official accounting of what happened to about 30 other "ghost prisoners" who spent extended time in the custody of the CIA.

and

The wildfires in Southern California this week have served to remind the world once more about one of the singular and underappreciated skills of George W. Bush: The man is a generous hugger.

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****

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Dissent, mofos.

Even by it's normal standards, today's fridaymusicfriday is remarkably self-indulgent

Forgive me. I love this song:

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Forgive me. I love this song:

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Forgive me. I really love this song.

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Forgive me. I love this song:

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And ba'al help me, I love this song (especially the German version):

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And forgive me, for I really love this song:

Chicago 1, United 0 (First Leg)

*****

Be honest. What exactly about this game didn't you expect?

That's what's so depressing. Not the loss itself - in a two game series, a goal deficit isn't catastrophe - but that given what we know about United, given what we know about Chicago, and given what we know about the two when they play each other, I could have not seen this game and seen this game.

This is frustration speaking. I'm not distraught, and frankly, if United crashes out next Thursday I don't think I'll even get the pleasure of mucking around in distraught. Last night made clear to me what I know I known for a couple of months: something is missing, and that something is creativity.

United plays hard, they play with impetus, they play with intent. They may still win this silly-ass tournament, and I expect them to win next Thursday, but they are not a special team, Supporter's Shield regardless. The backline isn't going to get better, their midfield isn't going to suddenly gel, Jaime Moreno isn't going to get younger, and Emilio can't poach without service.

This is not a postmortem. I expect them to win next week. And they were playing Nemesis, and Nemesis wouldn't be Nemesis if any game versus Nemesis was easy.

And if you argue that, down 1-0 after fifteen minutes, losing only 1-0 after ninety is solace going home in a two game combined-goal series, then solace.

But I've seen this movie before.

And of course there's this: United has not won a game they absolutely HAD to win this year. Not one.

Here's Goff's player ratings:

Perkins 6; Namoff 6, McTavish 5, Vanney 5, Burch 6; Olsen 5, Carroll 5, Simms 6, Gomez 5, Fred 6; Kpene 5. Subs: Moreno 6, Emilio 5.

I'd notch each defender down one. When the autopsy comes - next week, two weeks, three weeks, Cup or not - I'm going to say the lack of creativity doesn't start with the creative but with the backline. Their inconsistency has caused United's midfield to have to start possessions at least ten yards farther back than desired, which has allowed opponents midfields to start their possessions further upfield than United desires, and cycle and cycle and cycle.

Here's Goff's rumors from yesterday:

Two independent sources tell me that both Christian Gomez and Jaime Moreno are being pursued by a club in Qatar and that they very well could leave MLS after this season. We've known for quite some time that Gomez could depart this winter -- his contract is up and no new talks will take place until the season ends -- but the Moreno angle is a bit surprising.

Why Qatar? Ask Romario, Batistuta, Desailly and Caniggia. The answer: $$$$$. Many veteran players have headed to the tiny Middle East nation the last 10 years. Moreno and Gomez are entering the late stage of their playing careers and one final fat contract would go a long way in their post-futbol lives.

Take the money, muchachos, if the money's too good to turn down. This is a business. Take the money if it's more than United will pay you.

Though I hope both are back. Sort of.

in my head, now in yours too

Speaking of Blogrolls

Those guys over there to the top left, labeled kaboom, are must reads. I've been silent on my complicity lately, finally getting to the point where I don't feel a need to write an apologia for thinking Democrats just jerks instead of bwahaha-ing assholes in the pig trough like the pigs....

I'm still debating whether Democrats (or Britain's Liberals in the case of some of the kaboomers) are more cowardly than craven or more craven than cowardly (though NOT debating an either/or). Those guys under kaboom help. Read them all.

I also want to highly - HIGHLY! - recommend This Recording, a generous carnival of music and reads and whatever the hell they want to write about. Best new site I've discovered in months.

They also understand something about blog-rolling etiquette that makes me happy - besides having blog-rolled me, that is: it's a tangential part of a giggle in a long story, though they're not aware of the tangent.

Lastly, the bastards at viacom forced youtube to kill the "I don't know how to play the piano." So much for skills bloggers need.

No, this is lastly: those of you who have the secret dog email address get first dibs at two tickets for next Thursday's playoff game v Cheating Fuckers. Others can use the email on this page. Will meet you at stadium will-call. Hurry!