BLCKDGRD

There's Too Much Lime in the World and Not enough gin, they gasp. The Gentle are Curious, but the curious are not gentle*

2008-08-20T14:42:02-04:00

I deal with copyright/intellectual property neurotics as part of my day job. They're correct to be neurotic as they are dealing with intellectual property owners who must know in their brain stems that they've lost but won't recognize in their frontal lobes they've lost. They're fighting with the litigious zeal of the desperate. Set aside their justified moral position - artists, writers, creators deserve the profit of their invention - they've lost. They've lost, and no other business model can be conceived until they recognize the one that's lost is obsolete.

America's declining. Argue amongst yourselves whether America as CEO and War-King was a good-bad or bad-good thing, but America as supreme decider is dying and terminal, no matter how many wars America's brave dick-swingers start, no matter how many shitty decades unapologetic militarism delays the body's death.

Lordy, I'm a doorstop, a grim triangular black hard-rubber doorstop wedged under a bedroom door in my grandmother's house in Fellsburg Pennsylvania to keep my cousins out so I can read in peace, that doesn't work.

Permanent war.
Permanent war.
Permanent war.
Surveillance state.
O, Woe.
If Obama loses.
If Obama loses.
Yes, but wake the fuck up to what?
Five hilarious lies about Obama... that work! on who they're meant to work on.
Fortunately, my time in PG is limited to the Beltway to the BW Parkway to RFK.

*Frank O'Hara, who's newly repackaged Selected Poems wondrously dropped free into my hands.

FOR GRACE, AFTER A PARTY

    You do not always know what I am feeling.
Last night in the warm spring air while I was
blazing my tirade against someone who doesn't
interest
    me, it was love for you that set me
afire,
    and isn't it odd? for in rooms full of
strangers my most tender feelings
                                        writhe and
bear the fruit of screaming. Put out your hand,
isn't there
        an ashtray, suddenly, there? beside
the bed? And someone you love enters the room
and says wouldn't
                            you like the eggs a little
different today?
                            And when they arrive they
are just plain scrambled eggs and the warm weather
is holding.

In my head. Be in yours.

When You Were Young

2008-08-20T09:02:05-04:00

The original 930 on F St - surrounded by all the stores selling Doc Johnson products - when we were young? Remember this?

Hood On Your Blands

2008-08-19T13:05:57-04:00

Russia-Georgia gives McCain a bounce in the polls? Here's a question: How many innocent lives will be saved in October if McCain is ten points up instead of Obama?

Hah! a rhetorical question. Missiles will be flying - American and/or a proxy's - come October, the number calculated to the level of belligerence necessary to ensure Republican victory. Fewer die if McCain is winning, more die if Obama's winning. Is it complicity to goad Bushco/GOP, who view the military as a propaganda organ AND private security force, to gin up violence against innocent civilians to maintain power?

Some yes but more no, but no only if you understand that if Obama wins despite, the lesson won't be lost, though supposing Obama needs to be taught that lesson is ruby.

Can I also point out that Obama had better get the crackers to scream nigger, because if he loses because he's a suckbucket - and Obama, as of this struck ! is a suckbucket, though this is better - think his devoutest won't blame racism? Mofos, if Obama loses because of racism, let's see some racism.
Saaaaay, this wasn't predictable: David Brooks says it's not John McCain's fault he's running a rovian campaign, he was forced to, the saying of which has the advantage of being both true and dishonest.
The most willfully stupid and self-serving column Dionne has ever written. Helping the poor. Jeebus.
Mwa-ha-awfuckit. Though I know a guy who owns twenty-sided dice and used to blog. Oh, and a response to this bullet's catalyst. And another.
Rightwing bloggers = Italian soccer players?
Truth in advertising, motherfuckers.
Advertising? Obama's suckbucketful.
Russian Bear = The Monkees?
Mwa-ha-awfuckit.
More Kafka and porn.
Realist fiction and propaganda.
Dan's long rumination on Steven Millhauser. I read Martin Dressler years ago, but he's fallen away. Time to pick up.
Max's list of novels for vacations. Some John Irving love there.

Updates later. Or not.

Former lover Jill St John is SIXTY-EIGHT YEARS OLD TODAY:

I was only twelve at the time, mind.

So distraught that I dumped her, she dated Henry Kissinger in self-lacerating despair.

In my head. Be in yours.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRG

2008-08-18T11:05:23-04:00

United went to Chicago and beat Chicago using Chicago's ugly disgusting bullying tactics and I sang hallelujah. I'm asked, how do I separate my politics and my soccer and I say, huh?

Obama is suckbucketful. McCain is calling him (and by extension anyone who supports Obama) a traitor as I type this sentence. I expect Obama's nuanced response promptly.

Fleabus?

Fellow Crackerstanis, I knew Obama need avoid Angry-Negro Syndrome, but McCain is rallying the Confederacy without needing to scream NIGGER!, stroking the Necks of Red with the very taunts he'd use against Hillary Kerry Gore, and rube that I am, this pisses me off.

I've long abandoned hope in Obama's .06% chance of exceptionality, but lordy, his bucketsuckfulness astounds as much as frustrates. Four years to prepare for the same Rovian tactics as always, and Obama thinks nuance suddenly sells in America.

“The insinuation from the Obama campaign that John McCain, a former prisoner of war, cheated is outrageous,” Ms. Wallace said.
Pastor Gerson and Bill Kristol both mwahaha that John McCain outperformed Obama in the eyes of christers who were never going to vote for Obama in the first place. Jeebus in Crackerstan.
Frank Rich notes that McCain is a shitty human. But he was tortured, so there.
PUMAs are morons with martrydom delusions. I mean, don't vote for Obama if you weren't going to vote for HRC, don't vote for Obama because you realize the entire system is rigged, but voting for McCain because Obama isn't HRC?
Sub-head of this Salon article reads: Busting the myths about cheap and unlimited oil being broadcast by Rush Limbaugh, Jerome Corsi and other ignoramuses. Why assume they're ignoramuses just because they speak gospel to ignoramuses, ignoramus.
Doom Patrol.
Dr. Doom says you just think you're fucked.
Surveillance State.
Thomas Frank, the Liberal Juvenal?
5th calls for restatement of principles.
I won't forbid, but I can wish Planet wouldn't read this dreck. (She does say the latest one sucks.)
George Martin is still alive and taking credit?
The question isn't whether Jon Stewart is the most influential person on television, the question is why Michiko Kakutani is writing this article.
Friday Hope Blogging.
How to baconfy your bourbon.

Updates later. Or not.

Buying these old farts' new one today.

What I've heard on KEXP so far is promising, but I'm old.

Eno is God. His great four are going to that silly island where options are limited.

Chicago 0, United 1

2008-08-17T09:06:42-04:00

Normally I would fume to see United with seven yellows to Chicago's one, and while it's fair to complain that Chicago didn't receive yellows for tackles that got yellow for United, United deserved and earned every yellow they got and probably should have had four more and I say hooray.

United has talked all season about wanting to be a "tough" team to play, and seeing the faces of Chicago players pick their pussy-asses up off the ground time after time, whining and pleading to the referee, that gives me as much hope as the victory itself. Ba'al I hate Chicago (where even the home announcers - Fred Huebner on pxp, Chris Doran on color - are pussies: wAAh!).

Chicago devised and refined the strategy for beating United: Beat United. And since this was the first game v United since the USOC game, United came in ready for a dirty Fire and the dirty Fire was thoroughly unprepared for a dirty United, and like all true bullies Chicago pussied before a fight. wOOt!

I said four points out of the two road games would rekindle grossly excessive expectations. Shyeah-doggy, three-fourths there, and to be honest, as long as United doesn't metroshit the bed in Ningland, this road trip is already a modest success.

Here's Goff's player ratings:

Crayton 7, Namoff 7, McTavish 7, Burch 7, Martinez 7; Fred 7, Simms 7, Quaranta 5, Guerrero 6; Moreno 7, Emilio 5. Subs: Vide 5, Kirk 5, Thompson 5.

Noise to Crayton, who got a clean sheet with one brilliant diving save and complete confidence on crosses. Assuming communication between Crayton and his defenders irons out his slow off-the-line on breakaways (and there were too many breakaways - thanks, Chicago, for taking out Andy Herron in the 65th, btw), well, I hope Zach enjoys the reserve matches.

Fred was an eight, his best game this year - he was unlucky to hit post, and his cross that went through a wide-open Jaime, six yards in front of an empty net in the 70th, was brilliant.

Speaking of Jaime, he looks deeply tired. But all praise.

Guerrero - fabulous motor, fabulous pick-up. It's not a coincidence Fred's rejuvenation began when Guerrero arrived.

Quaranta botched a tackle on Mapp (I think) who got a pass to Blanco who (admittedly) lofted a brilliant left-footer over a beaten Crayton that hit the crossbar. Quaranta took a yellow for the botched tackle, and truth be told, could have been redded out a couple of times for horrible two-footed launched into air sloppy tackles. He's not a ten, and when Gallardo (if Gallardo) gets back, Santino's back to the bench, but Ba'al-bless: he's paid back the $35K flyer, but don't forget, it was a $35K flyer. The season doesn't - or shouldn't - hinge on Santino's reclamation.

And Burch - please stop heading the ball from the middle of the field BACK TOWARDS YOUR OWN GOAL. Dumbass.

Updates, edits, links, later.

Here's Fullback, Stollar, D, and Shatz- we all seem to have watched the same game to the same general reaction.

DCenters debriefing is up with linky goodness.

Hamster Advice!

2008-08-15T07:49:00-04:00

Looking for om in August, Fleabus? Hamster advice!

August sucks. Damn August and everyone born in August. Especially bloggers born in August.

Memo to HRC presupposes she's bigger than she wasn't.
Tinfoiled?
The indestructible core of my rubity is my inability to relax and enjoy the stupid.
Maybe not, but probably so.
Krugman: it's 1913 all over again.
Who's just like Hitler today?
So much for that trial balloon.
(Right)Wingman, fuck-buddy.
America as pedophile priest.
Savage coward.
God does play dice, or Elect the Pope: The Game.
Slots. Meh.
Kafka's Dick.
Obama's top-ten list is cynical, McCain's is lame.
29 instrumentals by bands that sing, w/mp3!

Updates later. Or not.

Why should we look for comfort in poetry?

MARBLE-SIZED SONG

Albert Goldbarth

Does she love you? She says yes, but really
how do you know unless you undress that easy assertion,
undoing its petals and laminae, and going in
below all trace of consciousness, into the neuroelectrical
coffer where self-understanding is storaged away,
and then lifting its uttermost molecule out, to study
in its nakedness as it spins
in a clinical light?—the way
we all, in our various individual versions
of this common human urge, go in,
and in, and in, the physicist down
to the string-vibration underlying matter, and
the Appalachia fiddler getting so
(as she puts it) "into my music," sound becomes
a flesh for her to intimately ("in"-timately)
enter, "its thick and its sweetbreads."
Is he cheating on you? He says no, and feigns
that he's insulted, but for certainty
you'll need to delicately strip the bark away
and drill, and tweeze, until you can smear a microscope slide
of the pith and can augur the chitterlings
—the way the philosopher can't accept a surface
assumption of truth, but needs to peel back
the fatty sheen of the dermis, soak the cambium layer
into a blow-away foam, and then with pick
and lightbeam helmet, inch by inch begin
spelunking through those splayed-out caverns
under the crust, where gems of cogitation are buried
—the way the diver descends for the pearl,
the miner: in, the archaeologist: in, the therapist: down
the snakier roots of us and in, and in, the way
the lone, leg-pretzeled yogi makes
a glowing bathysphere of worldliness and sends it in,
and further in, tinier and heavier and ever in,
the way the man in the opium den is floating forever,
toward a horizon positioned in the center of the center
of his head.... If we could stand beyond the border
of our species and consider us objectively, it might seem
that our purpose in existing is to be a living agency
that balances, or maybe even slows, the universe's
irreversible expansion out, and out ... and each
of us, a contribution to that task.
My friend John's wife received the news: a "growth,"
a "mass," on her pituitary, marble-sized, mysterious.
And the primary-care physician said: Yes,
we must go in and in. That couldn't be the final word!
And the second-opinion physician said: Yes,
my sweet-and-shivering-one,
my fingerprint-and-irisprint-uniqueness,
someone's-dearest, you
who said the prayers at Juliette's grave, who drove
all night from Switzerland with your daughter, you
on this irreplaceable day in your irreplaceable skin
in the scumbled light as it crosses the bay in Corpus Christi,
yes in the shadows, yes in the radiance,
yes we must go in and in.

Sober, Life is a Prison, Shit-Faced, It's a Blessing. Sober, Nobody Wants You, shit-Faced, they're all undressing. sober, it's even darker, shit-faced, the moon is nearer

2008-08-14T14:41:03-04:00

World's shittiest human is aflutter with outrage that one country would invade another because it can. Oil, schmoil, oil's gravy. Oil oils the can, produces greater can.

Assholes are assholes because all they see are assholes and know the Asshole Code: what's good for one asshole is just as good for rival assholes.

Meanwhile, Uncle Fiver (yds, y?) reports

As part of the handover to London 2012, David Beckham will star alongside Boris Johnson and Leona Lewis in the closing ceremony of the Beijing Olympics. The plan is for him to enter the stadium in a double-decker bus and kick a ball into the crowd. Sweet lord.

It all fits. Jeebus I'm in a vile mood.

Lesser assholes are still assholes.
Dances with Assholes.
Laughing at the assholes laughing at assholes.
Midgetidjit Richard Cohen channels Modo.
Anyone heard how Silber's doing?
New anti-Obama book reviewed.
Douche v Dildo?
When pastors go postal.
Nigel Beale reviews James Wood.
Batman: Fascist or Not

Updates later. Or not.

One of six things that might break the vile mood, the only one available now.

There is never not a New Order song in my head.

Bucket of Suck

2008-08-13T07:25:00-04:00

Just to clarify: I posted Tuesday a rube's begrudging of obamacamp's possible justification for its offense by vacation: they're getting slammed as the media scrambles to McCain - not because the media is conservative, because it's in their interest, short/long term, to keep this election as close as possible, too close to call on Election Day if possible - and Obama's lead is holding, the race is in stasis, and why should Obama spend powder and cash now rather than save until truly needed?

I didn't mean to suggest that I think obamacamp is good enough to execute that strategy even if they are smart enough to conceive it (or suggest I think it's a good strategy: I don't). I wrote in the recent past of the achievement of beating CLINTON INC as formidably impressive, but revelations of Clinton buffoonery in pursuit of assholery led by mcauliffisters into dysfunctional fuckeditude diminishes Obama's accomplishment, yes?

Obama is a bucket of suck. He leads because a bucket of suck beats a clusterfuck of lame (though not for long, perhaps, so suckful is Obama's bucket). I didn't mean to imply otherwise.

Maureen Paglia and Camille Dowd and meowism.
Pax Corleone.
As opposed to Rush, who's always admired talkative women with free minds.
We are the enemy.
Police State: Arkansas.
Let God strike the Obamaites in their private parts.
It will please Elric 7 to hear Kornheiser's radio contract was not renewed.
Corridor Cities Transitway, mocomofos?
Marycrackerland.
Max Boot is horny for Georgia!

Good for him Obama is a Bucket of Suck.

Updates later. Or not.

Good friend Old Paleo Dirty Jayarra Bastard needs some Klingon farts for his blues!

Dealt. Hope things are less snaggy.

United 3, Ningland 1

2008-08-13T06:32:00-04:00

D's first take is undoubtedly correct, and I won't claim United cured because United's first team thrashed Ningland's second team, but the goals were beautiful, we get a championship game at home, and August feels better today than it did Monday.

That will all change this Saturday. Getting into international play is minimum requirement, and with that damn, in combination with Ningland's utter damnlessness, United had better have won, but I can't see this team going to Chicago this Saturday and stealing a second win this year, I can't see this team going to Ningland a week from tonight and stealing a second tie this year. Come out of those two games with four points, I'll unleash some enthusiasm. All I feel today if happy relief.

Normally I'd acknowledge god-taunting for what it is, but god-taunting is for teams I harbor illusions of achievements beyond their means. I don't see achievements for this team beyond USOC: I'll reserve my god-taunting to Charleston, who United will stomp on September 3rd.

Maybe Gallardo will come in and the team will immediately cohere and progress, but Ningland's second squad gave United's defense too many oh-shit moments that it's impossible to believe Ningland's first squad would have only scored once. I have to wonder: for the long haul, would it have been better for United to shockingly lose last night and force the crisis today that feels like it's only been postponed, not canceled?

OK, I am god-taunting, reverse-whammy. Let's see how this works.

Here's Goff's player ratings (link has Behind the Badge video highlights):

Wells 5; Namoff 6, Peralta 6, McTavish 6, Martinez 6; Fred 6, Simms 6, Quaranta 7, Guerrero 7; Moreno 7, Emilio 8. Subs: Vide 5, Kirk 5, Zaher 5, Dyachenko 5.

All praise to Jaime Moreno. And Simms was an 8. And Fullback sees something good on the left flank.

Updates, edits, additions, links, later. Or not.

Fifty Today

2008-08-13T05:24:00-04:00

Feargal!

In Which an Obamapostate Attempts to Understand Obamatactics

2008-08-12T14:37:12-04:00

It's August. This round's pig-racism has been inferred, if not called, and maybe, just maybe, will be called next round or round after but some round. The convention is coming. McCain's attempt to infantilize Obama will doubly-backfire when Obama stomps McCain's doddering fool-ass in the debates. It's August. More Bush scandals are sure to explode. More Bush clusterfuck is sure to explode. It's August. The ecomony, the war, the economy, the war. George W Bush. It's August. Even with our doing relatively nothing, McCain has stopped gaining, despite the pig-ugly. It's August. Obama's opponent is the lamest candidate ever. Chill. Let McCain do the ugly of pigging McCain while able. It's August. McCain and teleprompters. McCain at biker conventions. McCain free-associating at microphones. It's August. Something will KABOOM! that will change all dynamics anyway. We survived the Clintons, we can survive McCain. It's August. Can you remember what you were outraged about two weeks ago?

Hot white chicks dig Obama, or: The Willfully Obtuse.
The Atlantic story on Hillary campaign
VOTE! Which wars were justified? (h/t Jim, who has thoughts.)
The Butt-Thumper and the Bear.
OK, the fuckers won.
Democrat's do use the same palette as Republicans.
Old Farts for McCain.
John McCain's desktop.

In my head, be in yours:

Oblahma in Paradise

2008-08-11T16:06:07-04:00

Here's one example of a liberal blogger overlord mocking Cokie Roberts for attacking Hawaii as Oblahma's vacation destination, complete with rational explanations why it's silly to be attacking Oblahma for vacationing in Hawaii. I'm the rube?

Cokie Roberts can be scolded, mocked, abused, denounced. Her stupid can be proven by logical arguments of least difficulty. Obama vacationing in the state of his birth, where family members still live, may be completely, factually, rebuke-free, which doesn't mean Cokie Roberts is narratively incorrect. When did common sense and truth become factors in American presidential elections?

Cokie suggests Myrtle Beach, and if I agree it would play better in Peoria, what would play better still is NOT TAKING A GODDAMN VACATION IN AUGUST WHILE RUNNING FOR OBAMAGOD!

Jeebus in Crackerstan, either Oblahma doesn't understand the rules of the game or Oblahma believes he floats above the rules of the game (or both), and that makes him one dumb and arrogant obamawannabe, but obamapostasy and meh.

But our internet Liberal overlords, fully aware of the rules of the game, wasting outrage on Cokie Roberts for reporting the Republican narrative, are almost as stupid as Oblahma deciding to finally challenge the Republican meme he's an arrogant elitist by defiantly flying to Hawaii for a vacation before his coronation.

The minute I think good thoughts about HRC, mcaullifister!
Oblahma. This is better.
Foot-stomping impotence will be countered by slobbering belligerence, and of course Russia v Georgia will be viewed as boon to McCain, allowing pigs to use the holy word Kremlin in the same sentence as Obama, who hasn't been reached for comment because HE'S VACATIONING IN THE MIDDLE OF A CAMPAIGN TO BE OBAMAGOD.
Georgia v Russia, Georgia v Russia, Georgia v Russia.
Oblahma. Oblahma.
Obama Art.
Suggestion of Carl Levin for vpotus.
Failing the Chesapeake.
Next great American beer?
Ten most memorable uniforms in rock.
Gaithersburg is #1!
Keep your dog off my lawn, or else!

BTW, typepad has upgraded my composer, and it's buggy as dusk, so if fonts and/or link colors look screwy or things don't work, oh well, I'll figure it out eventually. And, maybe you've noticed, I've set up links (when I remember) to open a new window, which should be especially helpful on FridayMusicFridays.

Meanwhile, in vitally important news, here's the new bag, a Revolution "Deluxe" Mini:

It did not come with anything that improves my game, but sweet nonetheless. It appears I'm sideways from design specs.

Metros 4, United 1

2008-08-11T07:51:27-04:00

Can I call tomorrow's USOC semi vs Ningland the most important game of the year, or do you think United can win Supporters or MLS Cup or Champions League?

Jeebus, the defense has been Problem One throughout Tom Soehn's tenure, and yes, the Gonzalos were brought in to fix the problem and yes, Marc Burch and Devon McTavish are decent substitutes (and no, Pat Carroll

does not belong in the league), but the level of disorganization and miscommunication can't all be blamed on a godawful goalie and unfortunate injuries. Someone chose these players and someone is coaching these players.

Who knows if the players are quitting - well, we know Pat Carroll is a quitter and a coward - but quitting implies the players are good enough when playing hard to notice when they're quitting, and I don't see it. When Marc Burch or Devon McTavish spin helplessly out of balance on balls in the air and give away clean breakaways on an astonishingly shitty keeper, they're not klutzes because they're quitters, they're klutzes because they're klutzes.

I don't know if it's rock bottom yet or if it's executions on Wednesday if United loses Tuesday - though a thorough self-colonoscopy from owners to management to coaches to players to rubes (which we should be doing daily, mind) will be required.

This may be, in Rinkydink League Soccer, with caps and low cash and a quarter-inch deep talent pool, after all the injuries to wings, to the ten, to half the imported defense, as good as management and coaches can do, but Metros 4, United 1?

As for rubes, scathing is easier to write than praise, but not nearly as much fun as it should be. What a rube.

Here's Goff's player rating (plus his Post story that hasn't been posted to the big paper yet b/c of tech issues)

Wells 4; Namoff 6, McTavish 5, Carroll 3, Burch 3; Fred 6, Simms 5, Vide 4, Guerrero 5; Moreno 7, Emilio 5. Subs: Quaranta 3, Martinez 6, Dyachenko 4.

Wells, McTavish, Carroll, Burch, Vide, Quaranta, Dyachenko. Sheesh.

Update, links, edits, additions, later. Or not.

Oblahma

2008-08-10T12:34:54-04:00

Oblahma? Mofos, he was obamawesome! enough to coordinate his VACATION IN HAWAII with John Edwards' adultery admittance.

Assuming the vacation has been in the works for months, Obama's manipulation of The National Enquirer and control of John Edwards is impressive! and should dash your oblahmas he is a hubristic assclown who believes his own hype to the point he can take a week off in his campaign to be elected Obamagod.

Oblahma.
Oblahma.
Theories of Oblahma.
Oblahma with both hands.
Oblahma: the art of the passable.
Hillary is lame too
Yes, of course
Cold water fun.
Fucking Washington Times article of fucking profanity on fucking Liberal blogs gets fucking predictable reaction on this fucking blog.

Updates later. Or not.

What's ickier? The President of the United States admiring world class ass or the outraged OMFG!s at the President of the United States admiring world class ass.

The ass is studying the wrong ass.

Saturday is the August of Blogging Days, and August is the February of Summer

2008-08-09T08:40:21-04:00

I'm going outside to play.