Did You Know Washington DC Has A Professional Soccer Team?

It's true, and tonight they play the game this whole season was aimed at, a major international game in a major international tournament against a major Mexican team. I can't give a ticket away.

Here's my theory, abridged version:

United's new owners wanted fabulous success immediately for leverage over the District on a new soccer stadium/developers' windfall and gave Payne and Kasper money and orders to be fabulously successful immediately, and after Veron chose Estudiantes Payne and Kasper panicked and swung and missed. Frank O'Neill?

Want a ticket? Come be outnumbered in our own stadium! Use secret dog communication numbers by 4PM.

SORT OF RELATED!

I was thinking about the European Champions League and saw that Chel$ki's playing Cluj, a Romanian team, so out of curiousity I wikipediaed the club and

That? is an awesome shield.