United 4, Metros 1

BEN OLSEN'S ANKLES = FAILFAGSNUGEN read a sign hung by a small section of Metros' supporters in the upper deck.

It's important when evaluating this game to remember Metro fans suck, but, hard as they try, they just can't suck as bad as their soccer team. Still, let me urge all Metros fans to fuck themselves. (When I came in from getting a beer at half-time I went to take a picture of the sign, but someone had taken it down - management, I assume. Anyone who has a picture of it, send it to me and I'll post it.)

Bromark can attest: at kickoff, I said I sensed a stomping. United looked hungry - Simms pointed out the FAILFAGSNUGEN sign to Quaranta - New Jersey looked ready to quit. The game was won before it started.

And the Metros suck mightily, which doesn't diminish the beautiful soccer United played, though claiming all United's woes over because they stomped a truly shitty soccer team would be silly.

Fun! - the crowd was hot, the goals were beautiful - and encouraging! - stomping when they should stomp is a good thing - and the first three of a necessary nine points out of this homestand before July's La Liga, but a sign of progress, not a sign of deliverance.

Here's Goff's player ratings:

Wells 5; Martinez 7, Peralta 6, McTavish 7, Burch 6; Quaranta 7, Simms 8, Dyachenko 5, Fred 8; Moreno 8, Emilio 9. Subs: Mediate 6, Kirk 5, Stratford 5.

The toggling from left to right of Fred and Quaranta worked again. (Quaranta took a shot in the first half, writhing on the ground in what seemed thoroughly non-theatrical agony, making everyone around us immediately reference yesterday's Post story, and he left at half time. I haven't seen any news, but it would be tragic if Quaranta is hurt just after having his discommodation lifted.)

Martinez is terrific, Peralta was good, McTavish was good, Burch was good. Wells? Sucks. (Bromark can also attest that I met a certain request.)

Dyachenko flunks yet another audition. Soehn quickly pulled Moreno back to distribute. Imagine how many United would have scored if Gallardo had played.

And Simms was everywhere. Emilio had three goals, but Simms was Man of the Match. What a rocket.

HEY LOOK! DCenters debriefing returns!